7 First Date Mistakes You MUST Avoid

Did you know that, according to Match.com, a woman goes on an average of 24 first dates before she meets a guy she wants to see again?

Avoid these 7 common first date mistakes to make sure that guy is YOU from now on:

1. Making the date too long.

It can be difficult to cut a date short if you’re having a great time with a woman, but that’s exactly what you should do. That way, she’ll want to come back for a second date.

The whole point of the first date is to get to know her a little bit, have fun, and get to the second date.

We want to start thinking a little more long-term.

So, for the first date, limit your date to 45 minutes to an hour maximum, no matter how well it’s going.

If you’ve already known her for a long time before your first date with her, you can extend the first date a little bit longer, but still keep it short and fun.

If you do, she’s much more likely to want to see you again.

2. Taking her to “dinner and a movie.”

Ahh…the most cliché date in the world.

Do NOT take her out for a “dinner and a movie” date on your first date (or your first 3 dates).

Why not?

Three reasons.

First, it’s unoriginal.

She’s probably already gone on lots of “dinner and a movie” dates and it shows a complete lack of creativity on your part.

Second, it takes much too long for a first date.

If it’s not going well, you’ll both feel stuck staring awkwardly across the table at each other for an hour and then having to sit through a two hour movie or make an excuse to leave. Not good.

Third, you won’t be able to talk during the movie.

Your job is mostly to get her talking and laughing and you won’t be able to do that at all when you’re sitting next to her in dark silence for two hours.

3. Talking too much.

You want to let her talk most of the time.

So, instead of trying to convince her to like you by telling her everything about yourself, let her talk about herself.

Ask her positive, fun, light, open-ended questions that allow her to talk for a long period of time instead of peppering her with “yes or no” interview-style questions.

For example, “If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?” or “What would you do if you hit the lottery jackpot and didn’t have to worry about money ever again?”

Then, share a related story or anecdote from your own life if you want, and then serve up another open-ended question.

She should be talking about 60-80% of the time.

This serves two purposes:

First, counterintuitively, she feels like she knows you better when she shares a lot about herself with you, not when you tell her about yourself. She feels closer and more connected to you. And, you come across as a great listener.

Second, you seem more mysterious. She’ll want to figure you out because you didn’t just reveal everything about yourself all at once like every other guy she goes out with.

Both of these things greatly improve your chances for a second date with her.

4. Bragging.

One of the biggest turn-offs for a woman is a guy who brags.


Because it shows insecurity.

The guy she really wants doesn’t feel the need to brag and instead focuses on getting to know her to find out if she’s a good fit for him or not.

When you brag, you’re subconsciously trying to convince her to like you, which pushes her away.

Don’t do it.

Even if you have an awesome car, house, job, boat, or plane or you’re really good at basketball, fishing, or playing guitar, don’t tell her about it.

When she sees for herself a few dates later that you have an awesome house or amazing guitar skills and she realizes you didn’t brag about it, her attraction for you will go way up.

Let her discover how awesome you are slowly over time instead of trying to tell her all the cool things about you all at once.

5. Giving her too many compliments.

Limit yourself to one light, genuine compliment per date.


First of all, on the first date, you don’t know her very well, so most compliments will feel shallow to her. She wants you to like her for who she is as a person, and you simply don’t know who she is yet. You’re basically projecting qualities onto her because you’re physically attracted to her.

Second, complimenting her too much shows that you are seeking her approval.

Approval-seeking is wildly unattractive to women.

So give her one solid, genuine, light, positive compliment per date instead of showering her with compliments and she’ll be much more likely to go out with you again.

6. Complimenting her on her looks.

Avoid complimenting her looks unless it’s a general thing like, “You look very nice tonight” or something she never hears from anyone else like, “You know, for some reason I really like your ears.”

You’ve already told her you think she’s good-looking by asking her out for a date.

There’s no need to point out your affection for one of her physical features, especially if they have anything to do with sexuality.

A compliment about one of her body parts could make her extremely uncomfortable. There’s no reason to take that risk when she’ll be more attracted to you if you ask her fun, positive open-ended questions about herself instead of complimenting her.

7. Getting too serious too soon.

Remember that women generally fall in love slower than men.

So, even if she likes you a lot right away, the way you feel about her after your first conversation with her is how she might feel about you after several dates with you if you do everything right.

So keep your first date light, fun, and positive.

Don’t talk about serious, heavy, or negative subjects.

Don’t dump all your insecurities and problems on her.

Don’t bring her flowers or a gift.

Don’t talk about your future together with her, ask her to marry you, or ask her to be your girlfriend on the first date.

Let things develop naturally.

Take her to do something active with you.

Grab a coffee or ice cream and walk with her for 45 minutes. Play a board game at a bar. Take her on a short hike.

Building solid rapport and creating a strong connection is more about having a fun, unique, shared experience with her than about bonding over “deep” subjects and having “serious” conversations.

Focus on having as much fun with her as possible.

If she has a great time with you, shares positive things about herself with you, and you keep the first date simple, short, and fun, she’ll show up excited for your second date and beyond.

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About The Author


Jim Wolfe is on a mission to help you permanently solve your dating and relationship problems on the way to helping 100,000 men live their ideal life with their ideal women and helping to increase the percentage of happy, healthy relationships from 30% up to 40%. Jim has been studying dating and relationships from the male perspective for over 12 years. Now, he has clients in 37 countries and counting and is the author of the "Attract and Keep Her" best-selling dating and relationship system for men.