Fear vs. Being a Challenge

You’re either being a challenge or you’re afraid of losing her…

Have you ever played a poker tournament and actively TRIED to get busted out?

Odds are you did better than usual. Not because you were more reckless than normal, but because you lost your fear of getting knocked out.

Don’t think of being a challenge with women as playing games.

Think of it as expressing your fearlessness of losing her, and thus your high value and inner strength, and thus as a tremendous gift you bring to her when she chases and catches you.

It’s actually demonstrating a high level of not only self-belief, but belief in her and the connection between you. She will feel that faith and it will attract her strongly to you.

You’re also demonstrating that you know how to manage your fears. You understand which fears are really protecting you (fear of grizzly bears) and which ones you can manage, process, and ignore (fear of change, fear of losing her, etc.). That skill applies to every other area of your life and shows that you have the ability to be successful.

Your ability to stay within yourself even when you REALLY like her is a huge gift to her.

So, do everything you would normally do with the next woman, EXCEPT anything that expresses your fear of losing her (=winning).

Because wanting her is awesome and attractive; needing her isn’t…

It really can’t be understated how amazing it is for her when she KNOWS you’re crazy about her and you’re still patient, you still move slowly yet confidently, you still take one step at a time, you still back up and allow HER to chase YOU sometimes, and you maintain your self-control to whatever degree you can.

I challenge you to be more of a challenge from now on by going more slowly and giving her interest time to catch up to yours.

Practice enjoying that tension by staying relaxed while lifting heavy weights, getting rid of old clothes and other stuff regularly, and even by consciously moving your body more slowly as a general rule.

And then, of course, build a lifestyle for yourself that makes you fulfilled and happy whether any particular woman likes you or not so you REALLY aren’t afraid of “losing” her.

The truth is that you have nothing to lose and your fear of losing her will only push her away.

Cheers to letting go of your fear of loss, allowing her the rare gift of chasing you, and getting the girl(s).

Thank your fear for trying to protect you and let it go.

Watch how your confidence, personal power, and success with women grows.

True power is quiet.

The small, defenseless dog barks the loudest…and texts women relentlessly.

Be the big, powerful, successful dog who moves slowly yet confidently and purposefully, takes his time, speaks in a relaxed, confident, fearless way, and lays back and chills because he knows that while he’s not better or worse than anyone else, he’s still the man and he’ll be fine no matter what comes his way.

Remember, when it comes to women, especially the one you REALLY like, you have all the time in the world. There’s no rush.

Time is your ultimate wingman, if you let him work for you.

You’re the man.



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About The Author


Jim Wolfe is on a mission to help you permanently solve your dating and relationship problems on the way to helping 100,000 men live their ideal life with their ideal women and helping to increase the percentage of happy, healthy relationships from 30% up to 40%.

Jim has been studying dating and relationships from the male perspective for over 12 years. Now, he has clients in 37 countries and counting and is the author of the “Attract and Keep Her” best-selling dating and relationship system for men.