How to Handle Rejection Like a CHAMPION So You Can Be More Successful With Women...

Did you know that experiencing “social rejection” fires up the same neurons in your brain as actually getting punched?

Yep, “rejection” literally hurts…

So, if you feel nervous when you think about approaching the gorgeous girl at the bar or the coffee shop, or if you get anxious when you want to go for a kiss, it makes perfect sense…

After all, who likes getting punched?

On the other hand, in order to experience dating SUCCESS, you have to take social risks (unless you’re in the top 1% of social status and/or looks and never have to approach women or risk rejection)…

You have to risk getting “punched” in terms of potential “social rejection.”

The most successful guys don’t necessarily get rejected less; they just handle rejection better, think about it differently, and seek more opportunities more quickly.

And, they RISK rejection a lot more.

They GO FOR THE KISS instead of trying to avoid a “negative outcome,” etc.

Now, you can definitely “reframe” what it means to be “rejected” and that definitely helps…

However, at the end of the day, you have to find a way to TAKE ACTION in spite of the fact that it will probably hurt a little bit if she doesn’t want to talk to you, doesn’t give you her number, says she’s busy when you ask her out, turns her cheek when you go for a kiss, etc.

You have to find a way to lead things forward even when you’re a little afraid, so:

Your level of “rejection tolerance” is one of the main factors that determines your level of dating success.

Almost every guy can have a good attitude and believe in themselves when a woman says, “Yes!”

The question is this: Can you take it (well) if she says, “No?”

Rejection tolerance is two things wrapped into one:

1. Your ability to feel fear and TAKE ACTION anyway…

2. Your ability to handle it well when things don’t go your way (how you interpret it, your emotional control, how long it takes you to recover, etc.)…

In other words, your ability to take “social punches.”

The BIG PROBLEM

The problem I see out there in the dating world is this:

Most guys try to “turn on” their “game” when they see a super attractive woman and either psych themselves up artificially to “go for it” (not a bad thing but usually not successful) or chicken out and hold back (they don’t go talk to her, ask her out, go for a kiss, etc…because they don’t want to get mentally or emotionally punched).

That would be like trying to learn boxing and only fighting against and taking punches from Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor…

And then, feeling like a FAILURE when you get knocked down or get too scared to step into the ring.

That’s not a very reasonable or effective strategy…

So, how can you increase your “rejection tolerance” so that you can more confidently take action, lead things forward, and also handle it well if it doesn’t work out?

Simple: PRACTICE MORE.

Take more little social punches more often and build up your tolerance…

(And, develop an abundance mentality: It’s okay if it doesn’t work out with one particular woman and it doesn’t mean anything about you. Set reasonable expectations for yourself).

Here’s a good analogy:

There are some MMA guys out there who can literally take a baseball bat across the shin with minimal pain and without damaging the bone…

Their shins are almost like steel.

And how is that possible?

Well, when you get kicked hard enough in the shin, it creates what’s called a microfracture: a small break in the bone that doesn’t go all the way through…

And, when that microfracture heals, the bone becomes MUCH harder and tougher than it was pre-kick.

And when you get thousands of microfractures over time and they all heal, you now have a shin bone that’s a DEADLY WEAPON.

It simply doesn’t hurt to get kicked in the shin anymore (well, maybe it does a little bit).

And, the same idea applies to social punches: You can train yourself to tolerate more social rejection.

The BIGGER SOLUTION

How to Raise Your Rejection Tolerance…

Here are seven ways you can increase your rejection tolerance so you can be more successful with women:

Practice your approach and bantering skills on EVERYONE.

Getting onto an elevator?

In line at the grocery store?

Risk saying, “Hi” to someone…and then banter with them if you can.

Banter with your co-workers a little bit.

Introduce yourself to any woman any time, even if she happens to be 97 years old.

Etc.

Take small social risks everywhere you go. Then, when you get comfortable with that level, take bigger ones.

This might sound really out there, but I used to randomly lie on the floor in the middle of a crowded building once a month or so just to keep building my tolerance.

Get in the HABIT of ALWAYS asking for a woman’s number if you’re even REMOTELY interested in her.

Whenever you meet a woman and you like her or you might like her, GET HER NUMBER (or at least ask for it).

That makes it a lot easier to do with a woman you consider a “10” vs. never asking for numbers and then all of a sudden trying to “turn it on” with her.

And, you never know, maybe a woman you initially think of as a “7” will turn into a “10” for you once you take her out and realize that she’s awesome (happens all the time)…

Start “training” at whatever level you can handle and then slowly move up until you can actually take a punch from “Floyd Mayweather” and survive.

Also, once you start going on dates with a woman, ALWAYS go for a kiss by the end of the second date…

Take a few “rejections” if you have to because each one gets you closer to success with the NEXT girl.

Break some eggs = Delicious omelet.

Learn to handle “negative” comments from women.

Listen, women will usually try to IGNORE you if they don’t like you…

So, if a woman’s giving you a hard time, it could simply be a TEST.

How you handle incoming “negativity” is one of the biggest factors that determines your level of social and dating success. <===Read 3X.

I was thinking about bullying in grade school the other day…And you know what’s really interesting about bullying to me?

Sometimes the MOST POPULAR guy actually takes the MOST crap from people:

The most popular guy in my school got his head dunked in the toilet to the point where he got a cut in his forehead, had soapy lunch rags thrown at him and wiped across his face, was given the MOST BRUTAL “wedgies” of anyone in the school, had his lunch stolen multiple times, etc…

However, it never once made him think he wasn’t cool. And, he was cool.

Now, the “lowest-status” guy in our class also got bullied…

However, much smaller forms of aggression affected him MUCH MORE.

It reinforced his low self-worth.

There’s a scene in a horrible movie called John Tucker Must Die that really illustrates this point:

The girls at John Tucker’s high school want to get “revenge” on him basically because he could have any girl he wanted and they couldn’t control him.

So, they came up with a plot that ended up with him being caught by his basketball teammates, coaches, some other classmates, and school administrators wearing nothing but women’s thong-style underwear at a hotel…

They also took pictures of him wearing the women’s underwear and made sure that all the other students at their school saw the photos to try to embarrass him as much as possible.

So, what did he do?

Did he get angry and try to get back at the girls?

Did he decide not to show up for school the next week out of embarrassment?

Did he walk around with his head down?

NOPE.

He went right into it and WORE THE THONG TO SCHOOL.

Then, at basketball practice, he showed his teammates that he was still wearing it and that it wasn’t a big deal…

He even came up with semi-convincing arguments about why it was so awesome to wear women’s underwear.

And, by the end of the scene, all of the other guys started wearing women’s underwear at basketball practice too. He made it “cool.”

Here’s the clip if you want to see what I mean…

He completely flipped it around.

Silly example?

Definitely.

Great way to think about how to handle social “punches” and how life works?

For sure.

And that’s the space that I want you to get to as well.

Do one thing every day that scares you…

Practice facing your fears as a HABIT.

That way, when you feel the tension that comes with approaching or going out with an attractive female, you’ll be used to dealing with it.

Stop rating women on a “1-10” scale…

If you rate women on a 1-10 scale, you’re putting EXTRA pressure on yourself and lowering your rejection tolerance before you ever even say hi to a woman you think of as an “8,” “9,” or “10.”

So, if you stop rating women on a 1-10 scale, it takes some of that pressure away, raises your rejection tolerance, allows you to approach more women, and allows you to apply successful dating principles more consistently.

And, that’s what leads to the most success: applying successful dating principles exactly the same way with EVERY woman you’re interested in.

So, from now on, instead of rating women on a 1-10 scale, start thinking of them as 0’s (you’re not interested in them) and 1’s (you are interested in them) when it comes to dating.

That way your behavior will be more consistent with all the women you’re attracted to and you’ll actually have a chance with the women you want the most.

You’ll instantly take your dating success to the next level.

And, there’s really no such thing as a “10” anyway: One man’s “10” is another man’s “7” and vice versa.

Plus, who cares what her “rating” is? The only thing that matters is if you’re attracted to her or not.

So, if you rate her above other women you’re attracted to, you’re simply hurting your chances with her and lowering your rejection tolerance for no reason.

And here’s the thing: Gorgeous women are NOT goddesses; they’re just slightly more physically symmetrical and well-proportioned HUMANS (and they have more options in terms of dating).

Even the most beautiful women in the world have to go to the bathroom just like everyone else and they have problems and flaws just like everyone else.

Some of them are incredibly sweet, intelligent, caring, and fun to be around…

Some of them are terrible people.

And, you can’t tell what kind of person they are just by looking at them.

So stop thinking of women as “10’s” before you ever even talk to them…

And, have some standards for the internal qualities and personality traits you’re looking for because that makes dating more fulfilling, makes you much more attractive to extremely good-looking women, gives you a competitive advantage over almost every other guy out there who’s chasing them, and raises your rejection tolerance at the same time.

Remember: Every woman you’re attracted to is on the exact same “level” from now on.

Not only does taking good-looking women off of a pedestal help you be more relaxed and confident with them, it also allows you to treat them the way they deserve to be treated: as human beings.

And, when you realize that even the most physically attractive women are just humans with flaws and problems like everyone else and you stop rating certain women “10’s,” it takes some of the pressure off of you, increases your rejection tolerance, and increases your chances of success with every woman you meet.

Go where the women are…

This might sound obvious, but the more options you have, the more likely you are to succeed.

No matter how good your “game” is, if you’re taking consistent action to attract the right women for you, chances are you’re going to make some mistakes sometimes, especially with extremely attractive women.

So, in order for you to allow yourself to make those necessary mistakes, you have to have as many options as possible.

If you only ever try to apply successful dating principles with the ONE cute girl in your town, that’s way too much pressure…

So, do the best you can when it comes to putting yourself in a strong position to meet large numbers of the kinds of women you like:

Do activities that you GENUINELY enjoy that have more women than men…

If you live in a small town in Alaska, consider moving to a bigger city if you can…

Because the more real options you have, the more rejection you can tolerate, the easier it is for you to apply successful dating principles, and the more likely it is that you’ll be successful.

Keep Going and You Can Do It…

If you keep training, you will be successful with women.

Just know that success may require a little bit of what you might think of as “rejection.”

So, burn it into your brain now that you’ll keep going and push through those experiences because your success lies on the other side of them.

If you want, you can even challenge yourself to actively TRY to get more “rejections” faster so you can raise your rejection tolerance and speed up your success.

And remember: There’s no such thing as “rejection;” only LEARNING exists…

So, if you take consistent action to apply successful dating principles with women, you learn everything you can from every experience you have with a woman no matter how “bad” it seems, you keep calibrating your behaviors based on the feedback you get, you keep building your rejection tolerance, and you keep going, you will definitely get where you want to go.

You got this.

Cheers,

Jim

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