How to Tell if a Woman is Interested in YOU

How much easier would dating be for you if every woman you saw had a “0-10” meter above her head displaying EXACTLY how interested she is in you?

Wouldn’t that be awesome?

Well, unfortunately, that technology doesn’t exist yet…

So, we have to do a little detective work to figure it out.

Fortunately, I have you covered on this topic.


How to Tell if a Woman is Interested in You


Listen, finding out if a woman likes you and how much she likes you can be a challenge because:

1. They usually don’t tell you directly…

2. They can give you mixed signals…

3. Women will go out with you for lots of reasons. Only ONE of which is that she’s actually interested.

So how can we crack the female interest code?

Should we take a flower and peel off petals one at a time saying “She loves me….She loves me not” until they’re all gone?

Should we read our “love horoscope” for the day?

Should we read every little word of her texts to try to figure it out?

I don’t think so.

I think we should focus on REALITY.

Remember: You CAN handle the truth.

We just have to find out what the truth actually is. And that means reading her ACTIONS toward you (not what she says) over time.

Now, when it comes to a woman you’re interested in, you have two options:

1. Hope she likes you…

2. FIND OUT if she likes you.

Your job is to find out as quickly as possible.

Your new motto is:

“I’d rather know now.”

Instead of preserving your “HOPE” that she might like you, you have to test her interest in you and FIND OUT as soon as possible.


So you don’t waste your time with women who aren’t even into you.

And, because it’s SO MUCH BETTER to be with a woman who actually likes you than one who doesn’t.

Now that might sound obvious, but I can’t even tell you how many men are “dating” women who don’t even like them and who are going out with them for some OTHER reason than being interested in HIM. Not good.

That’s why I CRINGE when I hear a story about a guy who asked his girlfriend out 3 times before she said yes…

(Believe it or not, there are TONS of guys out there who are married to women who aren’t in love with them AT ALL…Welcome to the modern family…).

Also, every time you find out that a particular woman is NOT interested in you, it moves you much closer to a woman who IS interested in you.

One REAL woman who actually likes you is better than a thousand woman you hope might like you.

Get the girls out of your mind and get one of them into your real life….

So what should we do to find out if a woman really likes us or not, and exactly how much she likes us?

Great question.

There are lots of “signs” you can look for:

She smiles at you…

Her whole body is facing you (her head, shoulders, hips, and feet are all pointed directly at you)

She compliments you…

She laughs at your jokes…

She maintains eye contact a little longer than normal…

She hits your arm playfully when you tease her…

She isolates you one-on-one…


However, there are more important CHECKPOINTS that you can use to determine if a woman is interested in you or not, and how interested she is EXACTLY at any given point:


1. She gives you her number. 

This doesn’t mean she IS interested, but it’s the first real checkpoint she passes. If you’re having a conversation with a woman you like, always get her number.

See if she gives it to you with enthusiasm, nervousness, etc. OR if it seems like she’s in pain while she’s punching in her digits.

And, if she doesn’t give you her number, assume she’s NOT interested.

2. She agrees to your date invitation.

Ask her to meet up with you on a specific day, at a specific time, for a specific activity. See if she says yes.

3. She SHOWS UP for your date (on time).

After agreeing to your date, she still might text you 30 minutes before and cancel on you. See if she actually shows up.

4. She kisses you (back).

Go for the kiss by the end of the second date. See if she kisses you back.

If not, be 100% okay with her reaction.

BIG KEY: Always be 100% okay with her reactions to you, even if they mean she’s not interested in you.

5. She shows up for your THIRD date.

If you make it to the third date with a woman, you have a very good chance of being able to be her boyfriend if you want.

6. She brings up/hints at being in a relationship.

She probably won’t ask you to be her boyfriend directly, but if you take her out 6-10 times over 2-3 months and she likes you, at some point she will most likely say something like:

“Hey, where is this relationship going?”


“What are we?” etc.

That’s when you know her interest in you has been going up and she’s ready to move the relationship to the next level.

THIS is when you can ask her to be your girlfriend if you want. Never sooner.

7. She brings up/hints at marriage.

Again, she probably won’t ask you to marry her directly.

But, if she’s your girlfriend and you’ve been together a year or two and you’ve done most things right, SHE WILL bring up the topic of marriage.

THIS is when you can get down on your knee and ask her to marry you if you want. Never sooner.

Because her bringing up the topic of marriage means her interest in you is very high and she’s ready for it.

These checkpoints show you how interested she might be at any given time.

Your job is to test her interest in you by asking for her number, asking her out, going for the kiss, etc.

DESTROY your “hope” and FIND OUT quickly.

Rip the band-aid off.

Now, that doesn’t mean you should RUSH things with her.

Being in a hurry will crush her interest in you.

What it does mean is that you should ask for her number during your first conversation. You should ask her out directly for a date so she can say yes or no CLEARLY. You should go for the kiss by the end of the second date to see if she likes you romantically instead of staying in the “comfortable” friend zone for 3 months and then randomly “telling her how you feel.”

Go for it.

Because the “hope” zone IS the friend zone in disguise.

And you’re going to be 100% cool with the reality of her interest in you either way.

Because you can ONLY win when you “go for it:”

Either you stop wasting your time on a woman who isn’t even interested in you so you can focus on women who ARE, OR she’s interested and you can move forward with her.

The only way you lose is by putting your blinders on and focusing only on how much YOU want HER.

Always remember: HER strength of interest in YOU is the #1 Factor in your relationship with her whether you’re with her for one day or seventy-five years.

How much she likes you goes a long way in determining how well she treats you and your relationship quality.

And, you’re already ahead of 90% of men just by even THINKING about her interest in you (instead of focusing on YOUR interest in HER…).

So well done.

And if you want to take your female interest detective skills to the next level, I created a new training for you:

==> How to Tell if a Woman is Interested in You (New Training – Click Here)

It’s about an hour long, so grab some popcorn and a notebook, get comfortable, and dig in.

You’ll definitely want to give this one a listen…




Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book

About The Author


Jim Wolfe is on a mission to help you permanently solve your dating and relationship problems on the way to helping 100,000 men live their ideal life with their ideal women and helping to increase the percentage of happy, healthy relationships from 30% up to 40%. Jim has been studying dating and relationships from the male perspective for over 12 years. Now, he has clients in 37 countries and counting and is the author of the "Attract and Keep Her" best-selling dating and relationship system for men.