NEVER send a woman this text…

Or say this to her…

Hey Man,

First of all, you’re the man…

Secondly, this:

Have you ever had something going with a woman and then, all-of-a-sudden, she STOPS texting you back…

Most of us have.

And it SUCKS!

It’s a little bit insane how even SMALL mistakes, especially when it comes to something as silly as texting, can instantly turn a woman off FOREVER no matter how awesome you are.

Well, that’s just the way it is…so we must adapt to that reality and make sure our texting is always on point.

Here’s an example of a text that tons of guys send that you can eliminate from today forward that will make you MUCH more attractive…

You see it all the time in movies and TV shows, which is probably why guys think it might be a good idea (it’s NOT…).

This usually happens right after the guy had a great date with a girl he really likes…

At the end of the date, or shortly after, he says or texts her this gem:

“When can we see each other again?”


“When can I see you again?”


When’s our next date?”


“Wanna meet up again tomorrow?”


“When are we hanging out again?”


I shudder when I hear these words slip off a guys fingers or tongue because it can INSTANTLY kill the attraction he’s building with a woman…

So PROMISE ME you’ll never send a woman this kind of text or say this kind of thing to a woman ever again.


What should you do instead?


Great question.

Instead of asking her when you can meet up with her again, plan the next meetup yourself and then ask her to join you.

Never ask her out for another date ON a date…

And definitely NEVER ask her when you can see her again.

Just wait 4-8 days, find something cool you want to do, and ask her if she wants to join you.

With minimal contact in-between meetups.

Keep texting in-between dates to a minimum and keep your texts short, light, and fun.

Then ask her to meet up with you again.

That’s it.


1. You want to build your relationship with her IN PERSON. The main purpose of technology/calling/texting/messaging apps is to get to the next in-person meetup.

Don’t try to build your connection over technology.


That means you’re responsible for planning the fun dates and then asking her to join you.

Don’t try to put any of that responsibility on her.

Now, if you ask her to meet up with you and she has a better idea, go with it.

Just always ASSUME that you will plan everything and keep asking her out until she offers something better or asks you out FIRST (which is a really good thing…if she’s asking you out one-on-one, that’s a very strong signal of genuine interest in the beginning stages…and even if a woman is highly interested she STILL might not ask you out…which doesn’t matter if she keeps saying YES to your offers, showing up and having FUN, and kisses you back with enthusiasm…)

Why should you never text or say this DANGEROUS phrase to a woman?

Two Reasons:

1. It kills CHALLENGE.

Which is 1/4 of why she starts liking you more over time.

It takes all the fun out of her wondering if you’re going to ask her out again.

It stops her from projecting all kinds of amazing traits onto you…her potential new man.

Why would you take that from her?

Are you mean?

Listen, if she’s wondering if you’ll ask her out again, she’s thinking about you. And the more times she THINKS about you in-between dates, the higher her interest in you climbs.

Even if she’s a little frustrated with you, she will like you more.

Remember, attraction is very similar to frustration in the beginning stages of dating (the first 2-3 months).

I didn’t make the rules…I’m just the referee.

Let me just say this: if version A of you texts her right after your fun date and says, “I had a great time…when are we hanging out again?”

And version B of you texts her right after your fun date: “Hey, thanks for the fun time tonight. =)”

THEN, doesn’t ask her out again right away, keeps his texts to her to a bare minimum, lets her texts be the last text in the conversation as often as possible, lets HER text HIM if she wants, keeps his communication light, short, and fun, focuses on his LIFE, thinks of something FUN he wants to do, and then invites her to do that fun thing with him after 4-8 days like:

“Hey, I’m going to this new art gallery opening on Wednesday night. Should be fun. Wanna join me? Starts at 7:30, I can pick you up at 7…”

She will be MUCH more attracted to version B of you.

Same guy, different RESULT.

Let your relationship and her attraction for you GROW naturally over a period of time.

2. It shows that you are genuinely confident.

Even though you’re definitely interested in her, you’re not too worried about whether or not she’ll meet up with you again.

You’re confident enough to plan a new date and take the risk of asking her to join you.

Will she like the date you pick?

Will she be available at the date/time you select?

Doesn’t matter.

What matters is that you took the risk to put your plan out there and offer it to her.

The only reason a guy says or texts this phrase to a woman is that he’s afraid he’ll never see her again, he’s afraid that another, better guy will “steal” her if he doesn’t act immediately, or he’s afraid to plan a date and ask her out directly because she might “reject” his idea.

Does that sound like a confident guy to you?

Look, if she actually likes you and doesn’t like your date idea, she’ll either go just to spend time with you or suggest another idea:

“Hmmm…art galleries aren’t really my thing. Want to go for a hike after work on Thursday instead?”

If she actually likes you and can’t meet up with you at the date/time you suggested, she’ll suggest a different time and date:

“I’d love to but I’m busy on Wednesday. Can we hang out on Thursday?”

If she doesn’t agree to your date idea OR suggest a new date/time/or activity when you ask her for a specific date, assume she’s not interested and move on.

Then, if she’s not interested, you don’t waste any more of your extremely valuable time on this Earth.

And if she IS interested, she will text you a few days later and then you can ask her out for a specific date again.



Don’t make her worry about any of the details.

And don’t make her aware of all the pre-planning required.

Make it a smooth experience for her.

“Where do you want to sit?”

“I don’t know, where do you want to sit?”


Just pick a cool spot to sit and go for it.

If she has a better table in mind, she’ll let you know.

Always put your ideas confidently out there.

If she likes it, she’ll go along with it.

If she doesn’t, she’ll let you know.

Then you just adjust to her suggestion.

Never react negatively if she “rejects” your idea.

It’s her turn to participate in the creative process of dating at this point.

So put yourself out there and see how she responds.

And then put yourself out there again the next time something like this comes up. And then do it AGAIN.

And now you’re more attractive than 95% of men.





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About The Author


Jim Wolfe is on a mission to help you permanently solve your dating and relationship problems on the way to helping 100,000 men live their ideal life with their ideal women and helping to increase the percentage of happy, healthy relationships from 30% up to 40%. Jim has been studying dating and relationships from the male perspective for over 12 years. Now, he has clients in 37 countries and counting and is the author of the "Attract and Keep Her" best-selling dating and relationship system for men.