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In my opinion, our society is experiencing an extreme drought of strong female interest in men…
And, most men have never experienced what it’s like when a woman is actually very interested in them.
In fact, the whole idea of dating and relationships in our culture seems to be that men are supposed to chase women and that a man should simply express how interested he is in a woman and then she’ll magically start liking him back.
“You have to tell her how you feel!” is common dating “advice” that gets thrown around as if it were a sacred truth…
But what about how she feels?
Why should she care about how much you want her if she doesn’t already want you first? <==Read 3X…
And what if the most important thing in your relationship with a woman is how much she likes you (not how much you like her)?
Here’s the truth: Women can feel extremely interested in a man…and, when a woman is truly in that state, she’ll do all kinds of things most men wouldn’t believe.
And most men wouldn’t believe it because:
1. They never let a woman get interested in them enough to experience it.
They CRUSH her attraction before it ever gets to this stage.
2. Our culture very rarely shows examples of highly interested women.
The possibility that a woman’s interest in a man could be important is completely hidden. And, the idea that a woman will chase you if she likes you isn’t even in the realm of possibility.
Most dating scenarios portrayed in TV shows, movies, music, and in the media show a needy man trying to get a woman or trying to convince her that she should be with him in some way.
“That’s just the way things are – men are supposed to go out and try to get women” is the (false) message deeply embedded in the fabric of our society as if it were such an obvious truth that we shouldn’t even question it.
But what if a woman can’t be strongly attracted to you and she definitely can’t fall deeply in love with you if you’re chasing her (remember: being together or being married is not the same thing as a woman being in love)?
And what if how much you like her doesn’t make her like you back (in fact, what if it actually makes her like you less if you express your interest in an unattractive way)?
And what if there’s nothing you can do to make her want you if she’s not at least a little bit interested in you or open to you to begin with?
|You might be interested in this article: How to Tell if a Woman is Interested in You…
And what if it’s your “job” to LEAD while it’s her job to chase?
Our culture is mostly working against you when it comes to dating and relationships because it constantly surrounds you with false ideas about how attraction works…
If you follow the way our culture says relationships are supposed to work, no woman will EVER fall deeply in love with you. And, you’ll eventually crush any attraction she might have felt for you in the first place.
So, in order for you to get a feel for what strong female interest is like and to become more aware of some of the messages working against you so that you can be one of the rare men that women actually fall in love with, this article links to various songs that demonstrate ideas that either help or hurt your ability to attract women.
Once you become aware of these messages, you can more easily filter IN the ones that help you and filter OUT the ones that hurt you.
So, we’ll get to those in just a minute…
First, this:
We’re social animals…
And, no matter how “tough-minded” we are, we’re all STRONGLY influenced by other people:
We become like the 5 people we spend the most time around.
That’s why I consciously select the people I’d most like to be like and then dedicate some time every single day to watch an interview with one of those people or read something they wrote…
And, I highly encourage you to do the same because their thoughts, beliefs, habits, and assumptions start rubbing off on us.
Now, if you want to use this principle to be more successful with women, here’s what I recommend:
Figure out the kind of guy that your ideal woman actually wants and who she actually falls in love with and then start BECOMING THAT GUY…
And then start surrounding yourself with guys who are successful with women any way you can so their beliefs, assumptions, actions, and habits can start rubbing off on you.
Surround Yourself with Men Who Are Successful with Women…
One easy way to start doing that right now is just to watch TV shows with strong, attractive male characters…
So, here are a few good examples to get you started:
-Michael Westen on Burn Notice
–Harvey Specter on Suits
-Hank Moody on Californication
-Marty Deeks (and also agents Callen and Hanna – this is a rare show with several strong male characters who know how to banter…) on NCIS Los Angeles
Now, of course, all of these characters also have problems and flaws. So, focus on the way they interact with the female characters in these shows for the most part. Keep the good parts and throw out the rest.
And, you should absolutely NOT let yourself get influenced by David Mailer on Travelers. His character, while “nice,” is one of the least attractive characters I’ve seen in a long time. Basically, you want to be the opposite of him. =)
Now, again, here’s the thing about dating success: Our culture is mostly working against you when it comes to attracting women.
Most people are not good at dating and most people struggle with relationships (70-90% of people)….
So, most of the ideas, beliefs, and assumptions out there in our culture actually HURT you in your quest for a satisfying dating life.
And that means that it’s also very important to CUT out some of those negative influences on your dating life as well.
Cut Out Some Things that are Working AGAINST You…
Now, this can be extremely hard to do because it means you’ll be going against the grain of what everyone else thinks and does most of the time…
So, you have to ask yourself if you really want to have a better-than-average dating life or not because it really can be difficult to be different.
And, one example of something you can cut if you decide to go down this path of better-than-average is MUSIC that contains terrible beliefs, ideas, and assumptions about dating and relationships.
For example, here are some songs that I think you should NEVER listen to again if you can avoid it:
Grenade by Bruno Mars…
Yeah man, of course she won’t do the same for ya…you did WAY too much for her WAY too soon. =)
Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars…
Bruno can probably get tons of women because he’s famous…However, a guy who has the attitude portrayed in this song will have a very hard time…way too sappy.
Remember, love is playful and fun, not serious. She wants CHALLENGE, not adoration (at least in the beginning stages of dating).
Drop Everything by Capital Cities
Capital Cities is one of my top ten favorite bands of all time. However, this song demonstrates an unattractive man who is way too AVAILABLE.
Girl Friday by Capital Cities
Again, this song shows that HE is interested in HER but that SHE is not interested in HIM. He should simply move on instead of wasting his time pining.
Now, if the roles were reversed and a woman was singing this song about a man, it would be a PERFECT demonstration of how to be a challenge…
This Boy by The Beatles
Here’s a throwback for the elder statesmen out there…
This song is a PRIME example of a guy trying to convince a girl to like him LOGICALLY.
He’s basically saying, “I’m much more interested in you than the guy you’re dating now, so you should come back to me…”
And, the problem with that is that your interest in her has absolutely NOTHING to do with her interest in you.
Your interest in her doesn’t matter to her AT ALL unless she’s already interested in you.
Make sense?
Cool.
Now, again, most of the ideas about dating and relationships that we find out in our culture are working AGAINST you.
So, watch out for these bad ideas in the music you listen to, the TV shows and movies you watch, and within your social groups.
If you want to do better with women, guard yourself against them as much as you can.
And lastly, you also want to start looking for signs of female interest in you.
Get Used to Strong Female Interest…
As you keep learning more and more about women, you’ll start to experience more and more incoming female interest.
So, it’s a good idea to get familiar with it. Get used to what REAL female interest looks, feels, and sounds like.
Again, strong female interest in a man mostly doesn’t exist in our culture because most guys KILL IT so quickly that it never has a chance to come out.
So, most guys will NEVER experience it.
However, since you’re learning how to increase female interest in you, you WILL start seeing it show up in your life…
And, the more you expose yourself to it, the more you’ll get.
So, in addition to surrounding yourself with men who are successful with women and cutting out things that are negatively influencing you, find a way to surround yourself with incoming female interest so it becomes normal for you and so you get used to that as well.
What female interest SOUNDS like…
Here are a few songs that demonstrate female interest to get you started (I’m not saying these songs are “good” by any means…they just show you what strong female interest SOUNDS like):
Can’t Get You Out of My Head by Kylie Minogue
This is what you want: Her thinking about you a lot when you’re not with her.
What’s My Name by Rihanna
“You got that something
That keeps me so off balance
Baby you’re a CHALLENGE
Lets explore your talent…”
YES!
Rude Boy by Rihanna
Come & Get It by Selena Gomez
A clear demonstration of high female interest in this song.
Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen
Okay okay, I know this might not be the best song in the world…
Nonetheless, it shows strong female interest.
“All the other boys…try to chase me.”
Yep, we don’t. And that’s why you want us Carly: We understand that it’s YOUR interest in us that matters, not how much we like you. And, we understand that our job is to LEAD while your job is to chase. 😉
Be the One by Dua Lipa
This song demonstrates how a woman’s interest in you goes UP when she has time and space in-between the times you actually hang out with her in person.
She starts missing the guy, so her interest climbs, and now she’s trying to convince him to be with her.
And, that’s the exact dynamic we want.
Alright man, I hope you found this article helpful and at least somewhat fun…
Here’s to your massive success and happiness.
Cheers,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
