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Working on your body language is one of the best ways to improve your results with women almost immediately without changing your personality at all.
So, in this article, we’ll cover the most important body language adjustments you can make to be more successful with women.
You can become much more naturally attractive and give yourself a lot more options just by implementing a few of these body language tips…
And here’s the best part:
Once you get used to them, many of these tips make you feel better and more comfortable in general.
So, what matters when it comes to your body language in terms of attracting women?
Well, first of all, if I had to rate the factors of your initial attractiveness to a woman based on importance, it would look something like this:
- Your social status (including pre-selection and perceived access to resources).
- Genetic expression (symmetry, height, etc.) and physical fitness.
- Your body language.
- Your internal state.
- Your words.
Notice that body language comes before your internal state, and more importantly, before your words.
Extensive research has shown that up to 93% of human communication is non-verbal and modern neuroscience tells us that female brains have 6X as many social cue receptors (the kind that pick up on things like body language) as male brains.
And that means that most guys are way too concerned about “what to say” when your body language is SCREAMING at her all the time.
Body language is primal…
It has a huge effect on your perceived value and it’s MUCH more powerful than what you say, especially when you first meet a woman.
Your body language is part of the context surrounding your words, which is more important to her subconscious mind than the content.
And, it gets past some of her defenses that other attraction cues fail to beat: Most women have been taught than “men will say anything” to try to attract them, so good body language is more powerful than any “lines” you can learn.
Your body language is absolutely critical when you first meet a woman and the first few times you interact with her.
So, if you master the way you carry yourself, you’ll have one of the most powerful attraction tools always at your disposal.
And, if you don’t, you’ll always be at a disadvantage.
Ultimately, learning attractive body language is about putting your best, most authentic foot forward in the most attractive way possible. It’s not about “impressing” women.
However, your body language has an extremely powerful effect on the way women respond to you. There’s no use fighting how women perceive us because of the way we hold ourselves and the way we move. We can only become more aware and adjust accordingly.
The body language tips in this article will help you feel more relaxed and confident, and more importantly, they will make you more attractive without changing your personality.
Practice until holding and moving your body as outlined in this article until it feels natural to you. It might take some time for it to feel right, but the effort will pay dividends for the rest of your life.
Fixing your body language makes everything else you do in dating like running downhill…
So, make attractive body language your default setting by implementing the following tips and then making them your HABITS:
*If you prefer listening to audio, check out this presentation:
==>Click here to watch on YouTube…
BEFORE YOU MEET HER
These tips make it more likely that a woman will be attracted to you before you meet her:
Get your arms away from your body. Never hold your drink in front of your chest. Hold it to the side.
In bars and clubs and at parties all over the world, you’ll see men defending the middle of their chest with their drink in their hand. Not you…
It may feel unnatural for a while as you practice never holding your drink in front of your chest, but the results will be worth it. From now on, hold your drink away from the middle of your body whether you’re sitting or standing.
Protecting the middle of your body with your arm is a subtle way of defending yourself. Making yourself more vulnerable by exposing your neck, chest, stomach, and groin to potential threats makes you appear stronger and more attractive.
It also helps you feel more relaxed and allows people around you to feel more comfortable in your presence.
Open up. Women will definitely notice.
Move more slowly.
If I had to give you just one body language tip, this would be it…
I encourage you to actively practice slowing down all your movements for a few minutes every day until it feels natural. When you practice, exaggerate slowing down everything as much as possible, including things like your blinking.
Your body language will improve a TON from doing this on a regular basis.
Don’t fidget.
Slowing down your movements tells your mind that everything will be just fine and that you’re not being chased by a tiger.
The world isn’t out to get you and you’re in control of yourself.
Slow down all of your movements a bit and she’ll notice.
Walk with purpose and control.
When you walk, take longer steps, but take them slowly.
You’re confident and you know where you’re going, but you’re also unafraid, calm, and in control. Don’t walk as if you’re being chased.
Keep your head and eyes up as much as possible. Don’t point them at the ground.
When you take big steps forward but take them in a controlled way, you cover more ground more easily than you would otherwise. Women will pick up on this signal that you’re internally strong, and, by the way, so will your own mind.
Keep your thumbs or fingers out.
If you can avoid putting your hands in your pockets, do it.
Otherwise, just make sure to hang your thumb out of your pocket or simply put your thumb in your pocket and hang your fingers out.
Never put your whole hand in your pocket.
Open your palms.
Showing your palms to the world is another way to show you don’t have a weapon, making you vulnerable to attack, and therefore strong. Only a strong man can be so vulnerable and still survive.
Show your palms to the world more often whether you’re walking around (angle your arms a little bit so your palms point forward a little more…this also helps you keep your shoulders back and down) or seated (instead of putting your palms down on the table, rest part of the back of your hands on the table so your palms point upward or sideways a little bit…like you’re open to receiving something).
Unclench your fists and let her in.
Smile more.
Studies have shown that it’s very difficult to remain in a negative state of mind if you simply make the physical movements involved in smiling.
That’s why when you’re really upset and someone teases you with, “Don’t you dare smile,” it can turn your mood around when you can’t help but smile in response.
Smiling more helps you become a source of positive emotions, and that makes you more attractive. Do it.
Smile with your eyes (only).
A genuine, warm, playful smile with your eyes that leaves your mouth closed (George Clooney and Daniel Craig do this well) is insanely attractive.
It’s even better than “regular” smiling.
You’re warmly projecting your positivity outward by smiling with your eyes while remaining impervious to the environment around you by keeping your mouth closed. Keeping your mouth closed when you smile keeps a strong boundary between you and others and cultivates attraction, affection, admiration, and respect instead of approval.
It’s a way to “push-pull” nonverbally. <==That’s called winning.
Turn your head slowly.
When someone calls your name, don’t jerk your head around to look at them quickly.
Slowly move your head toward them first and then slowly bring your eyes along with it.
Try doing this just for one day and notice the way people treat you and the way you feel when you do it. I think you’ll want to make this one permanent after you experience its power for yourself.
Take up more space.
Don’t be afraid to own the space around you.
You deserve physical space just as much as anyone else. Be a leader by making yourself comfortable first in the environment you’re in at any given time.
Remember that a woman gets to feel how you feel when she’s around you, so if you’re comfortable, it’s much more likely that she’ll feel comfortable too.
Of course, you don’t need to go overboard with this and start putting your legs up on tables or always have your arms draped over the back of your chair, but in general you shouldn’t feel bad about taking up some space for yourself.
Just make yourself comfortable. A little bit goes a long way with this one.
Maintain good posture.
Everyone knows they should “sit up straight,” but how many of us actually do? Well, sit up straight.
Whether you’re standing or sitting, keep your shoulders back and down. Relax and avoid hunching over.
Keep your chin up and in a neutral position (don’t tilt your head up or down too much; move your eyes instead), even when you’re walking.
Leave your chest and neck open to the world. This will make you look and feel more relaxed and genuinely confident.
***Body language is best taught in person, but video is the next best thing:
For detailed video breakdowns of attractive AND unattractive body language, click here.***
AFTER YOU MEET HER
These tips apply from the first moment you meet a woman:
Don’t give her all of your attention with your body right away when you’re talking to her.
Don’t face your feet, hips, shoulders, and head toward her all at the same time when you’re talking, especially when you first meet her and at the beginning of all of your meetups with her.
Make her earn your full attention a little bit.
Face more of your body toward her as she earns more of your attention by answering your open-ended questions, saying things you like, touching you, laughing at your jokes, etc.
She wants your attention and will work for it if she likes you. She’ll feel like she earned it when you give it to her slowly…
Also, when you’re ready to increase the tension, you can face her more. Just not at first.
Start by facing only your eyes and head toward her when you meet her. Then, give her your shoulders as she earns it. Then, your hips and feet.
It’s a good idea to always point one foot at a 45 degree angle even when you’re completely facing her, unless you’re about to kiss. That simple technique gives her the subconscious impression that you could leave at any moment, which means she won’t feel like you’re chasing her, which means she’ll be more attracted to you…
Notice when she faces all of her body toward you. That’s a very good sign and a strong indicator of interest.
It’s ideal if her head, shoulders, hips and feet all point toward you while you keep your body pointed slightly away. That’s what we want; HER giving you 100% positive body language while you make her work for yours a little bit.
This implies that she’s chasing you, which is exactly what we want.
When you sit down with her, try to sit next to her or at an angle instead of sitting directly across from her so you don’t face your whole body toward her the whole time. That makes it easier and more automatic to keep your body language a little more open.
Opening your body language so that you’re on the “same team” instead of directly facing her with your whole body makes her much more comfortable, implies rapport, reinforces your strong internal state, and makes her chase you instinctively. Think about the difference between two boxers in a ring facing each other down and a couple strolling side-by-side along a boardwalk.
Again, you can face more of yourself toward her as she earns it and when you want to ramp up the tension. But, in the beginning, don’t give it all to her right off the bat.
Make her earn it and she’ll feel really good when she gets it. Win-win.
Don’t “lean in” to your conversation with her.
This one’s huge.
When you’re talking with her, increase the volume of your voice if necessary, but don’t lean toward her. Stay calm and relaxed and sit back.
Let her lean in to you.
Watch for this the next time you go to a restaurant or bar. Look at the couples and see if you can spot guys who are “pecking,” or leaning in when she’s speaking and then leaning back out repeatedly. You’ll start to see this everywhere you go.
The thing is, it’s best for both of you if you let her lean into you instead of leaning in yourself because she wants to be more attracted to you…and you CRUSH her attraction for you when you continually lean in.
So, give her the gift of feeling more attracted to you. Don’t lean in.
Maintain your vocal tonality.
Don’t change your vocal tonality to match hers. Allow her to adjust to yours if she wants. You be you.
When a man is very attracted to a woman, he’ll usually change the way he talks around her to match the way she’s talking (volume, tone, etc.) in a misguided rapport-building attempt. That’s a way to gain her approval, but not her interest.
So, maintain your vocal tonality and let her match yours…
Talk the way you normally talk no matter how much you like her. Be willing to break rapport like this and she’ll be more attracted to you.
That being said, make sure your most attractive natural voice is your default speaking voice. Speak in as low of a pitch as you can without sounding unnatural. Low voices are easier to listen to and more attractive to females.
If you need to, train your voice.
When the legendary Frank Sinatra was first trying to make it in music, his voice wasn’t all that special…
So what did he do?
He started swimming every day to train his breathing so that he could hold notes longer and sing more notes without needing a breath (nobody else was doing this at the time)…
All those daily swim sessions helped Frank Sinatra sculpt the voice that would set him apart from his competition and make him world famous (not some kind of amazing “natural” voice talent that he was “born with”).
So, if you know you need to work on the way you speak or you’re just really ambitious and want every edge you can get, I recommend the Corff Voice Studios Speaking Voice Audio Course.
Why eliminate the women who would be interested in you if your voice was a little better?
Pause when you’re talking.
Comfort with silence sends a clear signal to your brain and to her that you’re internally strong.
You assume she’s interested in you, so silence is no big deal.
There’s no outcome you’re seeking. There’s nothing to prove. There are no points that you need to get across.
You’re comfortable and you’re not in a hurry at all. Everything is fine.
Don’t fidget in the silence. Bask in it.
From now on, there’s no such thing as an “awkward silence.” There’s only “awesome silence.”
Look her in the eye.
When you’re talking, look her in the eye most of the time.
When she’s talking, look her in the eye enough that she knows you’re really listening to her and appreciating her. Look away (to the side and behind her a bit) enough to keep it casual and comfortable.
Lead with your body.
When you first meet her, after you talk with her for a while and it’s clear that she likes you and trusts you, feel free to take her hand and lead her on an “adventure” to another part of the venue.
Just say something like, “Hey, let’s go over here for a minute” or “Come on, I’ve got something to show you real quick,” or “Let’s go dance,” or “Okay, it’s adventure time. Let’s go.”
Assume that she wants to go with you. If she stops you, let go immediately and continue your conversation with her normally. It’s no big deal.
You can also just say, “Hey, come with me,” then motion for her to come with you, turn slowly, and walk to your destination without touching her.
Expect her to follow you when you lead like this. If she doesn’t, it’s probably because you haven’t built up enough trust and attraction yet.
When you know she’s attracted to you and feels comfortable with you, try leading her somewhere else, even if it’s just to another area of the bar. If you do this at the right time, it’s very powerful.
On your dates, choose where you’ll sit and walk over to the table first. Pull her chair out so she knows where to sit. If she has a better idea for where you should sit, go with it. Just always be prepared to lead and assume that you’re always going to.
When you’re crossing the street with her, walk first.
When you’re getting intimate, don’t be afraid to move her around a little bit. Lead. Lead. Lead.
Of course, any time she wants you to stop doing anything physical that you’re doing, stop immediately. Be very cool about this. Safety is generally a bigger deal for her than it is for you, so keep that in mind.
Never do anything that she doesn’t want you to do or that could hurt her, but gently lead 100% of the time unless she resists or has a better idea instead of waiting for her to take the lead.
Walk into danger first.
See a scary-looking dog up ahead as you’re walking with her? Move in front of her a bit as you approach it.
Going into a dark room together? Go first.
Walking down the street together? Walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street when you’re with her.
Always walk into danger first.
Just do it…
Final Thoughts
Have you ever met someone who stood too close to you when they were talking to you?
How did that make you feel?
Did you want to be around them?
All of the body language tips we covered in this article are just like being aware of how close to stand to someone when you’re talking to them and they have an even stronger effect on how women feel about you…
They greatly increase your chances of attracting and keeping the right woman for you, so again, I encourage you to practice them until they’re second nature.
One good way to see what attractive body language actually looks like so you can model it is to watch movies with strong male characters (click here for an example featuring Brad Pitt). Notice how actors move and hold their bodies when they play attractive men and copy them.
Watch the way all the characters in Ocean’s 11, 12, and 13 move their eyes and heads. George Clooney’s character and Brad Pitt’s character manage to crack jokes, keep it light, and maintain good body language even when they’re robbing a casino for millions of dollars or trying to save their own lives.
Model their attractive body language…
Also watch the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Look at the way Brad Pitt moves his body. He finds himself in scenario after scenario of tense drama but always maintains control over himself.
He smirks or smiles and maintains a playful undertone even when things are heavy.
It’s best to watch short clips of the same character every day.
Just keep practicing one particular thing about your body language until it becomes natural and then move on to the next thing you want to improve. It takes some time, but it’s time well-invested.
Another thing you can do is to watch how very attractive men operate around you.
You’ll start to notice that a lot of really cool guys do most or all of these things naturally as you become more aware of attractive body language…
And lastly, here’s the thing: adjusting your body language will change you…
You’ll notice a difference in the way women respond to you and in the way you respond to women. These differences might be shocking to you when you first experience their full effect…
So, I encourage you to work on your body language until all of these things are easy and natural for you so that you have the greatest chance of attracting and keeping the right women for you.
And, again, if you want to SEE these tips in action so you know what they actually look like in real life, check out our detailed video breakdown of attractive body language.
We sincerely hope you found this guide helpful.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Cheers!
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
