Let’s say you had a great conversation with a woman and managed to get her number one fine evening…
Then, after waiting a few days (well done), you text her to ask her to go out with you two days from now…
And then, when she replies, she tells you that she’s busy that night.
What should you do in that situation?
This is an extremely common question that I get from men all over the world.
Including this email I got from an awesome guy recently:
“I have a question: this girl I’ve been talking to, I asked if we could meet up late for dinner in about two days but she honestly claimed she was busy so I proposed another night and she made absolutely clear she was actually busy babysitting and coaching, then I told her to tell me when she is able to chill next and she said ‘Of Course!’
My question is should I keep pursuing her or do I just move onto a different girl because it seems she might be leading me on?”
-M.D.
First of all, it takes guts to reach out to me in this situation instead of just continuing to chase a woman that you’re interested in.
So, well done sir…
Secondly, this is my response:
What to do when she says she’s busy…
Hi M.D.,
Thank you for your email…
Great question!
Here’s the thing: If you ask a woman out and she declines your invitation for any reason and she does not offer you a SPECIFIC alternative date and time when she can go out with you, I would assume she’s not interested and move on.
And honestly I would do that the very first time it happens.
Why?
Because if a woman is interested in you, she will accept your date offer or make sure to let you know an exact time and date when she can hang out with you.
On the other hand, when a woman isn’t interested in you, she still doesn’t want to say “no” to you directly because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and she doesn’t want to have a negative confrontation…
So, instead of saying, “No thanks…I’m not interested in you at all. Sorry :/”
She’ll say things like, “I’m busy,” or “You know, I’m not really ready to date anyone right now,” or “I have to take care of my best friend’s pet python that night” or “How about some other time?” etc.
If she says something general like that and DOES NOT say something like:
“I’m busy that night….can we meet up on Thursday at 7 instead?”<==This is a SPECIFIC alternative…
Then chances are extremely high that she’s simply not interested in you.
Remember: When a woman tells you she’s busy when you ask her out and doesn’t make a SPECIFIC counter-offer, what she’s really telling you is: “I’m not interested in you.”
So, your best (only) play is to stop contacting her and move on to a woman who IS interested in you.
That means that in your case I would not have “proposed another night.”
In these situations, DO NOT ask her out for another day or time. Wait and see if she offers you a specific alternative day and time.
And, if she doesn’t, move on.
When a woman declines your date invite without offering you a specific alternative, don’t keep asking her out.
Because if she likes you it will lower her interest in you when you’re too available to her and you keep offering her lots of times when you can meet up with her.
And if she doesn’t like you you’re just beating a dead horse and wasting your time and energy.
And here’s the thing: If you misread the situation and she actually is interested in you (less than 1% of the time…), then she will reach out to you again later and at least hint at wanting to hang out with you.
And, if that happens, you can ask her to meet up with you ONE more time at that point and see if she agrees or at least offers you a specific alternative.
Now, it might sound harsh to stop contacting her after one attempt and you might not accept this idea at first…
So, if you want to ask her out TWICE and then apply this rule, that’s completely fine (again, I wouldn’t waste my time, but that’s up to you).
However, any time you ask a woman out twice and she declines without offering you a SPECIFIC alternative date and time (“some other time,” or in her case saying, “Of Course!” when you asked her to let you know when she’s available, doesn’t count)…
…definitely stop contacting her and move on because it’s very clear that she’s simply not interested in you and there’s nothing you can do to change that.
I’m sure this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but I promise you that I’m 100% on your side and I want you to be as successful as possible.
So, your absolute best move is to do whatever it takes to forget about her and find a woman who is interested in your awesome self.
Because if a woman is at least a little bit interested in you then we can make her more attracted to you and make her fall deeply in love with you.
Otherwise you’re just wasting your time.
And your time is much too valuable to waste.
Cheers,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
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How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
