If you waste time and energy doing things that don’t help you attract the right woman for you it can prevent you from experiencing the ultimate success and happiness with women that you seek and deserve.
And, a lot of things that guys think will help them attract a woman actually push her away…
So, I decided to put together a list of things that men sometimes think will help them with women that don’t really work and/or hurt their chances with women to make absolutely sure you’re aware of them so that you can avoid wasting your time and energy running down the wrong path and be as successful as possible instead.
This one should be fun!
Take a deep breath and let’s go…
10 Things that DO NOT attract women….
1. Trying to convince her to like you…
You probably know this by now but attraction is not a logical process.
Neither is love.
A woman doesn’t fall for you because of your resume stats or other logical reasons.
She falls for you because of the way she feels about you and then uses logic to justify her feelings later…
So, bragging, trying to explain why she “should” like you, and anything else you do that’s trying to “convince” her to like you doesn’t work.
And, most of the time, it actually backfires and pushes her away.
This is also why bringing her flowers, writing her songs, poems, and letters, doing favors for her, and explaining why you’re better than other guys she might also like doesn’t work either.
Doing any of those things is just trying to convince her to like you using things that are EXTERNAL to you.
And, when you try to convince her to like you, you’re actually communicating that you don’t think you have enough value for her on your own on the inside right now. <==It’s this INTERNAL VALUE that makes her feel more attracted to you, btw…
Ironically, the less you try to convince her that she should like you, the more valuable she thinks you are and the more she likes you.
When your actions and words show her that you don’t feel the need to convince her to like you (without being condescending), she gets more attracted to you.
And whenever your actions show her that you’re trying to convince her to like you, she loses attraction.
So, cut out any behavior that you now realize is just trying to convince her to like you. <==This is called “qualifying” yourself to her and it destroys attraction. So stop doing it.
Remember: A genuinely confident man doesn’t feel the need to convince a woman that he would be good for her.
He knows he is valuable to her. His value is assumed and implied.
And it’s not a big deal…it just IS.
He knows she will see how awesome he is because it will come out in his behavior. He’s not really worried about it. Instead, he’s trying to find out if she is really a good choice for him or not.
Now, if you don’t quite believe in your value to a woman yet, work on that instead of trying to qualify yourself to women because your internal value is one of four things that actually DOES make women more attracted to you.
2. Telling her how you feel about her…
You see this all the time in movies:
The main character likes a girl and all of his friends tell him, “Dude, you have to tell her how you feel!”
Then, when he finally works up the courage, he tells her that he likes/loves her.
And then she’s SO happy that he finally told her about his feelings, they kiss, and then they start a blissful relationship together.
Well, the only place that confessing your feelings for a woman is a good thing is in the movies.
Why?
Because your interest in a woman does not make her interested in you.
In other words, what matters is her interest in you, and the fact that you like her doesn’t make any difference in whether she likes you or not.
And, if she does have feelings for you, confessing your feelings for her doesn’t make her like you more either.
So telling a woman how interested you are in her doesn’t make her like you or like you more. Ever.
On the other hand, verbally confessing your feelings for her certainly can push her away even if she’s interested in you.
So, instead of “telling her how you feel,” keep your mouth shut and express your interest in her by asking for her number, asking her out, and going for a kiss by the end of the second date.
Because that’s what actually works.
SHOW her how you feel about her by attracting her properly; don’t tell her.
Make sense?
Awesome…
Lets move on:
3. Having long and frequent texting conversations…
Listen, texting back and forth with a woman doesn’t make her more attracted to you.
On the other hand, taking her on fun dates and then giving her time and space in-between dates to think and wonder about you raises her interest in you through the roof.
When it comes down to it, you have two choices: You can actually date her or you can be her pen pal.
It’s up to you.
It might feel good for a while to get regular validation from your phone buzzing with her messages to you all day long…
However, it feels way better when she falls deeply in love with you instead of getting rid of you like she does with every other guy who texts her too much.
4. Being available to her all the time…
Some guys think that being available to a woman all the time will make her like him or make her like him more.
It doesn’t.
In fact, being too available KILLS female interest.
So don’t be at her beck and call if you want to be her lover.
Instead, wait a little while before you text her back when she texts you…
Wait four to eight days after each date you take her on before you ask her out again…
And if she asks you to hang out with her the same day she texts you to ask you to meet up, tell her you’re busy tonight but you’d love to meet up with her a day or two later instead.
Now listen, you don’t have to “play games” to do this.
If you’re actively creating a life you love living, you actually will be busy and not available all the time.
So, if you need to, work on that.
Otherwise, find a way to make sure you’re not too available because it will destroy your romantic connection with her.
Remember: Patience might be bitter but its fruit is delicious.
And patience is the biggest key to women.
5. Liking and commenting on her social media posts…
Let her “friend zone guys” give her online validation while you actually date her.
Instead of paying attention to her on social media, just ask her out, meet up with her in person, have fun with her, go for a kiss by the end of the second date, and wait four to nine days to ask her out again after each date.
And keep your contact with her to a minimum between dates so she can think about you. <==This is when her interest in you rises the most; not when you’re with her or texting her.
Don’t stalk her social media accounts.
Date her instead.
6. “Saving” her…
The classic example of this is fantasizing about saving a woman from being hit by a car…
Then, as you’re holding her, she looks at you adoringly, kisses you, and then falls deeply in love with you because you saved her life.
Well, here’s the thing: Women don’t need to be saved.
And saving a woman does not make her more interested in you.
In fact, it murders romantic love in cold blood, leaving it lifeless on the floor.
Now, if she’s already interested in you or deeply in love with you and then you save her life, it might make her feel more connected to you.
But if you’re doing it because you want her to love you that’s not how it works.
And that’s just the most classic form of saving a woman that guys think about.
Guys also think that saving a woman from financial problems, childhood traumas, her own bad taste in men, and psychological problems can make her fall in love with him.
It doesn’t.
Don’t try to be a woman’s therapist, father, or savior.
Date her and have fun with her instead.
Because love is light and playful; it’s a myth that it’s serious and heavy.
And that’s also why “showing her how well you understand her,” and being her “shoulder to cry on” don’t make her more attracted to you either:
Those are connecting behaviors, not attracting behaviors.
And unless she’s already super into you they will prevent her from having romantic feelings for you because she won’t be able to see you “that way” anymore.
And that’s not her fault. =)
Remember: It’s all about what SHE feels.
And her romantic feelings for you are not based on you saving her.
By the way, this is also why it doesn’t matter how much her friends and family like you or think you’re good for her: What matters is how she feels, not what other people think.
If a woman is interested enough in a guy, she will consider leaving her family and friends behind if they don’t support her relationship with him.
So, if you’re trying to attract a woman by saving her or convincing people around her that you’re good for her, stop wasting your energy on that and do what works instead.
7. Having serious, deep, heavy conversations with her…
Again, love is light and playful.
Not serious.
If you want to build a deep connection with a woman, share new experiences with her.
When you do something with a woman that neither of you have done before it creates a stronger emotional connection than any kind of conversation can create.
Remember: Negatives DO NOT create romantic love.
And neither do serious, heavy subjects.
In fact, they threaten it.
8. Using rhino horn…
Did you know that rhino horn sells for $45,000 per pound?
Why?
Because some people believe that it has medicinal and possibly even magical qualities…
Including making a woman want you.
Imagine, a guy could just pay $47 for our system and do what actually works…
Yet instead he pays thousands of dollars for something that doesn’t.
Unbelievable.
9. Taking her on expensive dates and buying her stuff…
Listen closely: Expensive dates and gifts do not make a woman more attracted to YOU.
Those things attract women who are interested in MONEY and the lifestyle you can provide but they also push away women who are genuinely interested in you.
And here’s the thing: If you have a lot of money and you just want to hook up with gorgeous women, dating them is not your best choice in my opinion.
In that case, it’s much better for you to hire professional escorts.
That way, you don’t risk getting emotionally destroyed by a woman who leaves you or cheats on you or getting married to a woman who wants your money and then giving her half your assets or worse.
Plus, you can have more than one if you want. =)
(I’m not saying this is moral behavior or encouraging you to do something that’s illegal where you live. I’m just saying that it’s not a good idea to build a relationship with a gold-digger who isn’t there because she’s interested in YOU).
On the other hand, if you want to be in a relationship with a woman and especially if you want to create a family with her, it’s important that you choose a woman who’s there because she wants to be with YOU.
And if you try to attract a woman like that by spending lots of money on her, she’ll get turned off because she doesn’t want to feel like you’re buying her. <==Gold-diggers don’t care about this.
Remember: Gifts, shopping sprees, and expensive dinners don’t make a woman more interested in you.
So, take women on inexpensive or free (FUN) dates for at least the first three dates and don’t buy them any gifts no matter how much money you have instead of trying to impress them or buying them things.
Then, once a woman becomes your girlfriend or wife because she’s shown you that she’s an awesome person over a period of time, you can go ahead and take her shopping, get her a nice gift, and/or take her out for an expensive dinner at that point if you want.
That way, you filter OUT the women who have agendas and filter IN the ones you really want to be with.
Ok, last one:
10. Wishful thinking…
Listen, I’m all about showing you what actually works when it comes to attracting women.
So, if wishing, hoping, casting spells on her, hypnotizing her, and/or praying worked in terms of making a woman like you or fall in love with you, I would absolutely tell you to do those things in a heartbeat.
Unfortunately, they don’t…
They might work on other things (not sure…) but they 100% do not work when it comes to attracting women.
So what does make a woman more attracted to you?
Only four things make a woman more interested in you assuming she likes you a little bit already when she first meets you:
Internal Value, Internal Strength, Preselection, and Challenge.
That’s it.
Whenever your behavior demonstrates that you have these four qualities, her interest in you rises.
And, when your behavior shows her that you don’t have them, her interest in you declines.
It really is that simple.
No rhino horn is ever required when a woman is actually interested in you. =)
If you already own the Attract and Keep Her System then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
And, if not, go grab your copy right now.
Until Next Time,
Jim
