If you want to have a satisfying long-term relationship with a woman, she MUST have certain qualities.
Even if you do everything right with her and even if your girlfriend or wife has high interest in you, if she doesn’t have these specific qualities then you’ll eventually have big problems in your relationship with her.
Of course, we cover this in detail inside the Attract and Keep Her System, but here’s a brief summary of the qualities that a woman must have in order for you to be able to build a healthy, satisfying relationship with her…
In order for a woman to be the right woman for you, she MUST be:
2. Available…
AND
She must also be GREATT:
Giving…
Responsible…
Emotionally Stable…
Agreeable (flexible attitude)…
Trustworthy…
Trusting…
If she’s missing any of these qualities, then you’ll have problems with her down the line guaranteed.
Now, of course, nobody’s perfect and we aren’t looking for a perfect person…
Just someone who has all of these qualities at a reasonable level.
And, for the purposes of this article, I want to zoom in on ONE of these qualities and take a look at how we can assess it accurately for the purposes of deciding if a woman is the right woman for you or not:
Trustworthiness.
In order for us to learn how to assess these qualities accurately in general, I’m going to drill down even more into a subcategory of trustworthiness:
Loyalty.
Here’s the thing:
If you can go away for a weekend or even a month on a business trip and you KNOW FORE SURE that your girlfriend or wife will not do anything with another guy (without deluding yourself)…
And if she supports you in public vs. undermining you around other people…
Then she is a LOYAL woman (as long as she has high interest in you, you have nothing to worry about)…
And, if you’re even slightly concerned about what she might do any time you leave the house or she consistently undermines you with other people, you will never feel that solid, grounded, masculine confidence that is necessary for a man to be fully happy in a relationship.
Even if she doesn’t actually cheat on you, this will undermine your happiness, confidence, and relationship satisfaction.
We, as men, want to feel calm in our gut when it comes to our woman…
So, we must choose a woman who is LOYAL in addition to her being genuinely interested in us.
And how can we be SURE that a woman is loyal?
Well, over time, when you’re getting to know her for those 2 years before you marry her, she will let you know if you’re paying attention.
If she tells you that she’s cheated on every boyfriend and/or husband she’s ever had, it’s time to stop dating her and move on because she is NOT loyal (unless she’s done a lot of work on herself and she specifically tells you about that as well)…
On the other hand, if she’s never cheated on anyone she was committed to in the past, then she probably IS loyal (and then all we have to do is keep her interest high and we have nothing to worry about).
These two ends of the spectrum are very clear and this clarity makes it simple in terms of what we should do (keep dating her or not).
But what if she cheated on just one previous boyfriend?
Where’s the line and how can we flesh this out more to make sure we’re getting a good deal when we sign a marriage contract?
Well, that’s exactly what a top student asked me about recently:
“Jim,
You wrote in your book (attract and keep her) that if a woman cheated on her boyfriend or her husband that is a red flag and that you would not continue the relationship…
Well, what if a woman previously cheated on her boyfriend with whom she was in a relationship for five years and she’s always trying to show the guy she’s dating now that she won’t do this to him and she often brings up the subject of marriage with him?
If she says that she wants to get married to him in about a year but he’s concerned about her cheating previously, what do you recommend for him to do?
-T.A.”
And here’s my reply:
How to tell if a woman is LOYAL (this is critical)…
Hi T.A.,
First of all, this situation is a little more nuanced because she didn’t say she cheated on every boyfriend she ever had and she didn’t say she never cheated…
It’s somewhere in-between.
And, here’s the thing:
A LOYAL woman CAN cheat on a guy if her interest in him is already 0 and she just hasn’t left him yet…
So we have to dig into this a little deeper to make an accurate assessment.
And, when we’re looking at a woman’s character, we must differentiate between a PATTERN and a MISTAKE…
So, for example, if a woman is super flexible (agreeable) and good to you 95% of the time but she has ONE bad day and yells at you ONCE because she’s having a terrible day and then she apologies and doesn’t do it again the next day…
And this happens maybe 3 or 4 times a year…
That’s normal and totally fine.
It falls well within the range of acceptable if she has all of the other qualities we’re looking for and she’s great 90% of the time.
But if she does it to you frequently and/or there’s something negative that she didn’t use to do and then she starts doing it (a lot), then it’s a big problem.
So, the same thing goes with LOYALTY:
Is she the kind of woman who can cheat on you even if she has high interest in you because she has low integrity?
Or did she just make a mistake one time and/or she had 0 interest in the guy when she “cheated” and/or he cheated first so she did it for revenge?
You’ll have to go deeper to analyze this situation and find out what you should do.
Here are the questions you should ask yourself:
1. If you had no emotions involved here and you were an alien scientist studying human behavior OR advising your friend about her (take yourself out of it), based on what you know, would you say that she is the kind of person who can cheat in general?
Or did she just have low interest in her ex for a long time and she did it once instead of breaking up with him first?
Did she cheat on him once near the end of that relationship or a lot of times continually?
Did he cheat first?
Why did she cheat? ==> Knowing this can tell us if she’s likely to do it again or not.
2. What does your GUT say?
Do you feel confident in your gut that if you leave for a month on a business trip nothing will happen?
Or does that make you nervous? <==This feeling erodes the romantic love a man feels for a woman over time and causes too much stress.
3. Are you sure her genuine romantic interest in you is 9/10 or higher?
That’s our only adultery insurance with any woman, assuming she’s a LOYAL woman in general.
Ignore this truth at your own risk.
4. Does she do other disloyal things?
Does she support you or put you down in public?
Does she stop doing something with other men when it makes you uncomfortable or does she keep doing it?
Does she care more about them or you?
5. Was she under 22 years old when she cheated?
Women don’t fully form as a person until around then (we’re more like 25 haha), so anything before that may or may not say anything about her character once she hits 30.
6. Is this something you will be concerned about forever if you marry her?
Or is there some point where you can relax and not worry about it (without just ignoring it or being naïve)?
Is this part of who she is to kind of put you on edge about these things? Or was she just immature/had low interest/did it once/etc.?
7. Did she do this to multiple boyfriends in the past or just one BF one time?
Is it a pattern of flimsy loyalty or a one time mistake?
These questions will tell you what you need to know.
Remember: Women tell us EVERYTHING we need to know about them…
We just tend not to listen. =)
So, when you’re dating a woman, look for the qualities we need to see in order to have a good relationship with a woman and pay close attention…
That way, you’ll make a good choice and a good investment in your future instead of potentially making a big mistake.
No matter how strong your feelings for a woman are, always go into a relationship with a woman with your eyes wide open.
Because there’s nothing better than a LOYAL woman with high interest in you…
And, if she’s not both of those things, it’s not worth it in my opinion.
Alright sir, that’s it for now…
Until Next Time,
Jim
