Imagine for a second that you just got a promotion at work…
And then you come home to your girlfriend or wife excited to tell her about it:
“Hey, guess what?! I just got the promotion I’ve been wanting for so long!! I’m so happy!”
Her response:
“That’s great…but I mean…don’t you hate working there anyway? Sorry if I don’t get too excited for you…”
DEFLATED.
That’s how you might feel.
And this short little story illustrates the opposite of the critical concept we’re going to cover in this article:
A simple way to improve ALL of your relationships…
It’s called “capitalization” and it’s one of the keys to having a healthy, satisfying relationship with a woman and good relationships with everyone else.
Here’s how you apply capitalization:
1. Any time the woman you’re dating or in a relationship with (or anyone else) tells you something positive about their life, you AMPLIFY it instead of minimizing it.
2. Choose to be with a woman who does the same for you.
It’s that simple (yet not necessarily easy).
So, to flip this around, when your girlfriend comes home and says, “Hey, guess what?! I finally got that promotion I’ve been wanting today!!!”
You say, “Wow, that’s so awesome! I’m proud of you! Let’s go celebrate…”
Even if you know she doesn’t like the company she works for.
What you want to do in that case is capitalize on the good feelings she’s sharing, amplify them by the way you respond (this adds lots of good feelings into your relationship)…
…AND THEN, a day or two later, you can bring up the fact that while it’s great that she got a promotion maybe she should consider still looking for other opportunities because she doesn’t like the company.
And make sure you choose to be with a woman who handles your good news the same way.
Because over the course of months and years, if a woman deflates you every time you share something you’re happy about with her, you’ll end up feeling resentful toward her and you won’t want to share your happiness with her.
And if you minimize her good feelings when she shares them with you, she’ll feel bad around you and will start only sharing neutral and negative things with you.
So, when she shares something positive with you, don’t put her or the situation down, don’t minimize what she’s saying, and don’t resist those good emotions.
Expand them instead.
And, if you have feedback to offer that might deflate those good feelings, wait and share it with her later.
If both of you do this, you will be MUCH happier to be together.
And if you do this with people in general, they will want to be around you a lot more.
This might seem like a small thing but it’s extremely important…
Especially because there will be so many instances where this comes up for both people in a relationship.
Remember: Her happiness is your happiness and your happiness is her happiness. Same with success.
Now, of course, a woman can’t make you happy…
However, she can EXPAND your happiness and you can do the same for her.
And now you know a simple way you can.
On the other hand, if neither of you practice capitalization, you can definitely make each other miserable.
So, from now on, expand on any incoming positives and you’ll have a much happier girlfriend or wife. And make sure you’re with someone who does this too.
Now, when you’re on your first or second date with a woman and she tells you she got a promotion, you don’t have to go crazy and throw her a party or anything like that…
However, you should still capitalize on the good news:
“Wow, congratulations! Let me grab you a drink to celebrate…”
Etc.
It’s okay to get her one drink if it’s to celebrate her good news. Just don’t go overboard if she’s not your girlfriend yet.
Once she’s your girlfriend or your wife, you can expand her good feelings as much as you want:
“Wow! I’m so proud of you…let’s get a bottle of champagne…”
You can even throw her a party and invite all of your friends so they can share those good feelings too depending on what the situation happens to be.
Etc.
The important thing here is just that you don’t minimize her good feelings and expand them instead, even just with your words and body language.
You don’t have to do anything more than that; I’m just saying that you can if you want.
And, from now on, I highly encourage you to celebrate the success of others in general…
Because when someone gets or achieves something that you want and you celebrate it, your mind starts associating that thing with positive feelings and that makes it much more likely that YOU can get it as well.
And, of course, it also improves all of your relationships and makes you much more fun to be around.
And, on the other hand, the opposite is true if you minimize the good feelings of others.
So when you see a guy with a beautiful, kind, smart, amazing wife or girlfriend, CELEBRATE his happiness and success.
Because that makes you open to experiencing that success as well.
And when a woman tells you something positive from her life, encourage, support, expand, and amplify vs. minimizing, resisting, or destroying.
Because if you do, you’ll be handsomely rewarded.
Remember:
We have to actively CREATE good feelings in our relationships together.
And capitalization is a simple way to do it.
Okay, one last thing and then we’re done here:
When you’re talking to a woman (and as a general rule), do your best not to create negatives as well.
That means don’t whine and complain or put people down in your conversations…
And don’t make negatives worse either:
If she shares something negative with you support her and show her you’re on her team but don’t amplify the negative feelings. Just accept them.
So, to re-cap, we want to actively CREATE good feelings by sharing positive things with a woman, AMPLIFY her good feelings when she shares them with us, and refrain from creating negatives as much as we can.
Find a woman who does this too and you just might beat the odds and find yourself still happy after several decades with her. =)
And if you do this as a general rule, ALL of your relationships will improve.
Try it and watch what happens.
And then, if you want a woman who treats you well to fall and stay deeply in love with you, make sure you do everything else right with her as well.
Until Next Time,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
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