Consider the majestic Peach Tree for a second…
What does a peach tree want?*
Well, almost exactly like human males, it wants to spread its seeds far and wide…
It wants to produce more healthy, strong, little peach trees with its DNA inside and it wants them to grow up in a good environment (in this case, far enough away that it doesn’t take resources away from its other children).
*Of course, the peach tree doesn’t actually want anything…humor me for the purposes of this lesson.
Now, considering that the Peach Tree wants its seeds to be planted some distance from itself…
And considering the fact that the Peach Tree can’t move…
How does the Peach Tree accomplish this task?
How does the Peach Tree get what it wants?
Attracting Women: Be like a Peach Tree…
Well, the Peach Tree gets what it wants by producing delicious fruit that animals want to eat…
If it doesn’t, it doesn’t get what it wants.
If a peach tree doesn’t produce fruit or its fruit isn’t delicious enough, it dies out.
However, even thought that’s true, the Peach Tree also doesn’t need every single peach to produce offspring in order to be successful; the Peach Tree gets what it wants if just a few of its seeds get planted. <==This concept is important too…
And why are we talking about this in an article about dating and personal development?
Because attracting women, business opportunities, customers, high-quality friends, and money works exactly like this for us too…
How?
Well, when you want something in life, it’s almost always much easier to ATTRACT that thing by giving something freely for it that other people genuinely want than it is to “try to get it” some other way.
And, even more directly, when you’re able to give something, you’re able to get more of that specific thing much more easily.
For example, if you’re able to give money away, it’s easier for you to attract more money than if you don’t have any money to start with.
If you’re able to SHARE good emotions with other people, it’s much easier to attract people who can share even more good emotions with you than if you only put negativity into the world.
And, if you want customers or you want to attract women or you want to build a good relationship with a potential mentor who can help you get to the next level, it’s MUCH easier to do it by GIVING FREELY than it is to:
-Beg them to buy your product, date you, or mentor you…
-Trick them into buying, dating you, or mentoring you…
-Convince them to buy your product, date you, or mentor you by telling them how awesome you are or how amazing your product happens to be…
The key, like the noble Peach Tree does, is to look at things from THEIR perspective:
What is it that THEY actually want?
What do your ideal customers actually need?
What does your ideal woman actually respond to when it comes to attraction and love?
What problem does your ideal mentor have that you can solve for him or her or what can you give them that they would LOVE but that they wouldn’t necessarily get for themselves so you can start off your relationship with them on the right foot?
See, here’s the thing: The Peach Tree that produces the most delicious peaches is the one that gets what they want the most…
Animals will climb the tree, pick the most delicious-looking fruit they can find, devour it with the seed still inside, take it a good distance away, and then deposit the undigested seed into the ground wrapped in natural fertilizer that helps it grow even more.
By the way, this is also why vegetables don’t taste very good: Unlike peaches, they DON’T want you to eat them. =)
And, here’s another key: Nobody ever cuts down the peach tree that produces the most delicious peaches…
People do everything they can to protect it.
And it works exactly the same way for you: The more delicious fruit you produce for the world, the more good things you get and the more everyone else wants to keep you around.
The more you GIVE FREELY, the more attractive you are.
Now, you might be thinking, “But doesn’t that just put you in a position to get walked over and taken advantage of?”
Excellent question.
The answer is NO and here’s why:
1. In order to TRULY give freely, you have to take EXCELLENT care of yourself first.
If you’re not meeting your needs and most of your wants for yourself on your own BEFORE you start producing fruit for the world, then you’re NOT truly giving FREELY.
You can only give freely if you truly don’t need anything in return. <==And, ironically, when you don’t need anything in return, you generally end up getting A LOT more in return…
2. When someone takes advantage of you, you should stop giving freely to that person and spend less (or no) time with them.
It’s very important to maintain strong boundaries.
The key is to LEAD with GIVING FREELY and then adjust from there.
That’s the best strategy for life…
And, if it works for the Peach Tree, it works even better for you because there are two advantages you have that the Peach Tree doesn’t:
#1: You CAN move…
You’re not stuck in one place your whole life…
You can make sure your products get in front of your ideal customers…
You can move to where your ideal women hang out…
You can reach out to your ideal mentors…
Etc.
Being able to move while giving freely allows you to be even more successful…
#2: You can produce more than one kind of fruit…
While the best peach trees do a great job of producing the most delicious possible peaches for us, the truth is that:
NOT EVERYBODY LIKES PEACHES.
Part of giving freely is being empathetic and realizing that what other people want might not be the same thing as what you want.
For example, women aren’t attracted to the same things men are…
So, when you’re on a date, you can give a woman what she actually wants instead of what our society says she’s supposed to want or what might seem good to you.
When you give a presentation, you can adjust it to make sure it’s serving your AUDIENCE well; not just getting your points across.
And when you want to reach out to a potential high-level mentor, you can give them something they really want or need instead of asking them to start meeting your needs and wants right away.
The best example of humans giving freely that I can think of and that we all know about is RED BULL’s marketing strategy.
They really understand this concept.
So what does Red Bull want?
It wants people to buy a lot of Red Bull…
And what’s Red Bull’s main marketing strategy that allowed them to grow from a small company to the world’s most dominant, profitable energy drink brand?
Have cute young women and athletic, cool young guys drive around in Red Bull vehicles and:
GIVE FREE RED BULLS TO PEOPLE…
…usually at events where people might really want an energy drink and sometimes with a little fun literature about the company.
Did they ask anyone to buy anything?
Nope.
Did they put any pressure on anyone?
Definitely not.
If someone doesn’t want a free Red Bull, it’s 100% cool with them.
And, most people are excited to see them when they come around.
Their whole marketing strategy is literally giving freely and it’s worked out REALLY well for them.
Now, compare that to the beggar in front of your local grocery store.
What does he want?
He wants money from you so he can buy food and/or alcohol.
And what’s his marketing strategy?
Well, he just goes ahead and leads with the ASK:
He begs you to give him some money.
He doesn’t give you anything, especially not anything you really want…
And how does that strategy work out for him?
Well, he probably gets enough money for the day by the time he’s done…
However, he never really gets ahead, he probably doesn’t feel good about himself, and worst of all, nobody really wants to be around him.
So by now it seems clear that GIVING FREELY is a much better strategy in life than begging or trying to get things from people some other way.
And while it’s clear when we look at the case of Red Bull vs. Beggar, some guys still operate from the beggar mentality with women (or at least very attractive women).
So, we want to make sure we’re GIVING FREELY instead of begging in order to attract women so that we’re following a strategy that WORKS.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you should give a woman “stuff” freely…
So, for example, it’s NOT a good idea to give her flowers, chocolates, jewelry, gifts, etc. before she’s your official girlfriend…
Why not?
Because even if you are giving those things freely, her subconscious mind will think that you’re giving those things to her just to GET something from her: you want her to like you more, you want her attraction, you want sex, you want love, etc.
And no woman wants to feel like she can be bought…
So, while you shouldn’t give her actual gifts freely, you should give her what she ACTUALLY wants freely: the gift of feeling intense attraction and eventually love for an amazing guy like yourself.
Your presence and the feelings you inspire inside her ARE the gifts she really wants.
Make sense?
Excellent.
Now, here are five quick examples of how you can GIVE FREELY when it comes to dating so that you can get what you want more often (just like Red Bull):
1. When you’re asking a woman out on a date, choose something YOU think would be fun for both of you and then just ask her to join you.
You want to SHARE your awesome life with her; not try to make your life awesome because of her.
2. When you playfully tease her, look away from her a bit after you deliver the line and don’t look for her reaction.
Give her the gift of increasing attraction WITHOUT looking to see if she’s going to react or not.
Same thing goes with making a joke: Do it to entertain yourself and then share that entertainment at others, don’t do it just to make them laugh or in an attempt to make them like you more.
3. Don’t go too far out of your way just to date her.
Don’t drive for 3 hours to meet up with her…
Don’t stop doing something or cancel something that’s important to you just to go out with her…
That way, when you do spend time with her, you’re giving her that time freely and you won’t be seeking an outcome so much.
4. Instead of trying to get approval from her, approve of yourself and then give her a little approval when she earns it by being a cool person and having fun with you.
After you playfully tease her and have fun with her for a few minutes, you can say something like, “You seem like a really cool person…I’m curious…what’s one thing I wouldn’t know about you just by looking at you?”
That way you’re giving her a little bit of approval and then showing that you’re giving it FREELY when you ask her to show you more.
5. Instead of trying to GET a kiss FROM her…think of it as SHARING a great kiss with her at the right time when you go for a kiss.
Listen: Women want to get physical just as much as you do; they just have different requirements for what makes it “good.”
And, since you’re such an attractive man, it’s AWESOME for her to get physical with you…
…As long as she’s attracted to you AND comfortable with you and you’re sharing that physicality with her FREELY instead of trying to GET it FROM her.
Got it?
Excellent.
Remember: The human mind doesn’t interpret something as a REAL gift if it’s not given FREELY.
And, when the human mind does think it received a REAL gift, it strongly wants to reciprocate…
That’s when you get everything back times ten.
And, even if you don’t get it back directly from the person you’re giving to at the moment, it will come back to you some way somehow.
And then, even if that doesn’t happen, it’s completely fine because you don’t ever actually NEED it to come back to you at all.
That’s how this works.
So just produce lots of “peaches,” give them away FREELY, and a few of them will pay off big time.
***EXERCISE***
If you want to be more attractive to women, do this exercise real quick (or, real slow if you want):
1. Get out a pen and paper, or something to write with…
2. Write down everything you SEEK from women…
For example, you might write down:
Love
Sex
Approval
Acceptance
Companionship
Friendship
Laughter
Adventure
Etc.
Just free-flow it and write down everything that comes to mind.
3. Write down how you can GIVE each of the items on your list to YOURSELF.
For example:
Love – I can love myself by eating well, working out, getting enough sleep, and doing more things I enjoy.
Acceptance – I can work on accepting myself more every day.
Approval – I can give myself positive reinforcement more often.
Etc.
Do this for each item on your list.
4. Now, think about how you can GIVE or SHARE each thing you wrote down with WOMEN.
Then, write down how you can GIVE or SHARE each item on your list with women.
For example, it might look like this:
Love – I can focus more on giving love freely than on trying to get it.
Acceptance – I can give a woman genuine approval as she earns it instead of seeking her approval.
Etc.
5. [Last step] Write down how you can GIVE or SHARE each item on your list with the world around you.
For example:
Love – I can hook up my single guy friends with awesome women I meet.
Acceptance – I can give people genuine compliments more often instead of always pointing out negatives.
Good emotions – I can smile at people with my eyes to make their day a little better as I walk by them.
Etc.
The key is to find a way to meet your own needs and wants as much as possible and then go out in the world and produce as much delicious fruit for everyone else as you can.
Because, when you live your life that way, you start powerfully attracting everything you want into your life.
And it also takes the PRESSURE off of you when you don’t really need anything from anyone else…
When you give freely instead of trying to get things, you never build up anger and resentment inside yourself when things don’t come back to you because you simply don’t expect them or need them to.
And not only is that a great way to live, it’s also the best possible strategy for getting everything you want.
So, from now on, you’re just the kind of guy who takes GREAT care of himself and then approaches the world and attracting women from the frame of GIVING FREELY.
After all, you’re a lot more civilized, attractive, and successful than a peach tree that can’t even move and can only make peaches aren’t you? =)
Until Next Time,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
