Attracting Women: Take Imperfect Action... - Dating Advice for Men Who Love Women

I’m FIRED UP for this article…

Because I hope it will allow you to UNLEASH your full potential on the world and also in your dating life…

Or at least get to the next level from wherever you are now.

And, no matter how successful we become, we need to hear messages like this every once in a while.

Listen, our society is messed up…

Now, that may or may not sound obvious to you, but here’s what I mean exactly:

We’ve come to a point where it seems like nobody is allowed to LEARN, DEVELOP, and GROW…

I mean, if you made one mistake 18 years ago it could damage your career these days.

It seems like if you’ve ever done anything wrong or made any mistakes, our society says that you’re just not a good person in general anymore. Even if you’ve already made amends for it if necessary.

WRONG.

Here’s the truth (I think you’ll agree):

If you’re the exact same man as you were 5 years ago, then something is wrong with the way you’re doing things…

We should be encouraging people to learn and grow and change for the better.

That would make our society healthier and stronger and, of course, being able to learn from our mistakes makes all of us better.

We have to allow people to make mistakes and learn from them instead of judging people so harshly (including yourself)…

For example, a lot of people make fun of fat people working out at a gym.

Well, I don’t.

A fat person at the gym is a WINNER because he or she is doing something to change for the better.

It’s the morbidly obese people who could go to the gym (some people actually can’t – I’m not talking about them) but instead never leave the couch that deserve more scorn (although judging others is never good for your own self-worth and happiness – it’s far better to focus exclusively on what we can do to make ourselves better).

And getting in shape is a PROCESS.

Perfection Paralysis vs. Taking Imperfect Action…

I remember back when I was first starting to lift weights…

All of the football players at my high school lifted weights together.

So, as a relatively skinny, weak, underdeveloped freshman, I was lifting in the same weight room at the same time as the older, bigger, stronger sophomores, juniors, and seniors who had been around for a while.

And I was intimidated…

I mean, the juniors and seniors were throwing up multiple 45 lb plates on both sides of the bar to do bench press like it was no big deal.

Meanwhile, I could only do the bar plus maybe 10 or 15 lbs on each side.

“I’ll never be able to lift as much as them…” I sincerely thought at the time.

However, by the end of the following year I was benching 305 lbs multiple times.

Simply because I kept going.

I got stronger and stronger by slowly increasing the amount of weight I was lifting over a long period of time…

And now I’m gonna bring this all back to dating and relationships:

We tend to make fun of the guy who “gets shot down” when he tries to talk to a woman he’s attracted to…

“What a loser,” our society says.

And that’s why so many guys stay seated in the booth at the bar or the coffee shop instead of taking the action they want to take deep down and getting up, walking over to the attractive woman, and saying, “Hi.”

It’s that fear of failure.

Most people would rather sit comfortably in the death of “perfection” and make fun of the guy who got shot down vs. risk taking imperfect action and possibly looking like a fool. In other words, actually being fully alive.

Well, here’s the thing:

The guy who got shot down is a WINNER.

I LOVE that guy…

And, if he keeps taking action, learning from his mistakes, perfecting his approach, building his lifestyle, and developing himself, he eventually will get results even if he doesn’t get the outcome he wanted at first.

That’s how you win the game of life and win the game of dating.

And our society doesn’t get this.

We are sold the myth that some people are just “born with it” and some are not (except Maybelline…they kinda get it haha).

However, if you understand and accept this concept, then you can do what you need to do to be successful in any area of your life.

Remember: GOING FOR IT makes you a winner; not a specific outcome.

So, when you see a woman you want to meet, go over there and start a conversation.

If she’s not interested, it’s no big deal.

Just move on to the next one. <==This will eventually lead to success.

Reward yourself for going for it; not for “getting a particular outcome.”

And don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t go your way either…

Because if you go for something 10 times or 100 times, the outcome you want is likely to happen at least once.

Always give yourself multiple chances to succeed.

A long time ago, there was a woman who worked in the same building as me that I developed a crush on over a period of several months…

We would talk for a few minutes at a time every once in a while and it just kept building up until one day I was like, “Oh, hey, I think I really like that woman…I guess I should just ask for her number.”

So, even though I was shaking from being nervous, I asked her for her number the next time I talked to her anyway.

I was red with embarrassment and she was blushing also because I actually think she liked me too…

“Well, uh, I actually have a boyfriend…” she said.

Dang!

“How about some quality backup? ;-)” I replied…

“Haha!”

Now, did I feel bad that I wouldn’t be able to go on a date with her or be with her?

Yep.

But did I feel bad about myself?

Heck no.

I felt GREAT about myself for going for it.

I would have only felt bad about myself if I never tried.

And here’s the crazy thing: That situation happened more than a decade ago and I have an awesome girlfriend now but it still makes me feel good about myself when I think about it.

Whenever you go for it, you get self-esteem points from taking that risk that carry over to your future interactions with women even if it doesn’t go your way.

So, just go for it.

Every time.

Without hesitation, second-guessing, or worrying too much about the outcome.

Because we don’t want to get to the end of our lives with REGRET.

Now, here’s the key: If your approach wasn’t good and you made a mistake in the way you handled yourself and that’s why she didn’t want to keep talking to you or go out with you, then you don’t want to make the same mistake twice.

You want to make NEW MISTAKES each time.

In other words, you want to take imperfect action…

Then, learn anything you can learn from what happened…

Or, if she simply wasn’t interested, take it to heart that you did what it took to FIND OUT.

Then, take even more action.

If you keep taking action, you keep learning, and you keep going, you will get where you want to go for sure.

Maybe not as quickly as you want, but faster than you think.

Remember: Dating is simply a numbers game at the end of the day.

Results will come over time as long as you don’t stop or hold yourself back.

There are no perfect people out there…

There are no magic people who just “have it” or who know a “secret” that you don’t know…

We all have to follow the process.