Do you want to make a woman happy?
Or, do you want to be with a woman who makes you happy?
Well, as you’ve probably heard by now, here’s the thing about that:
Nobody can make anyone else happy.
Even if they want to.
The Great Happiness Circle…
Have you ever had a thought like, “I hope Sondra is happy…”
Or, have you ever heard anyone say, “I just want you to be happy…” to someone else?
Well, even thought those sentiments are sincere, they just create a giant circle of unhappiness…
What does that mean?
It means that if you want someone else to be happy and that person wants another person to be happy and that person wants YOU to be happy, NOBODY is actually happy.
It’s just a never-ending circle of unhappiness.
Because, again, nobody can make anyone else happy.
You can’t make your friends happy, you can’t make your kids happy, and you can’t make a woman happy.
No matter how much you want to.
Now, of course, a good woman can absolutely add to your happiness…
And, on the other hand, the wrong woman for you can make your life a living nightmare.
However, no woman can make you happy and there’s no way for you to make a woman happy.
So what’s the solution to this problem?
LEAD by making yourself happy first, THEN share your happiness with others…
Including the women you date.
Offer them an example that shows them they might be able to make themselves happy as well.
Explain how you do it if they ask.
Find a woman who has a positive attitude most of the time.
And never seek happiness from outside of yourself.
Because that’s is the ONLY way that anyone can be happy.
So, if anyone has ever wished that YOU are happy; you can grant them their wish.
And, instead of wishing someone else is happy, just make yourself happy from now on because that’s the only happiness you can control.
And, if everyone did that, we would ALL be happy.
So how can you make yourself happy?
How to Make Yourself Happy…
Well, first of all, the research that I’ve seen about this says that human beings actually have a unique “set-point” of happiness that we tend to return to no matter what happens in our life.
In fact, life events, even extremely positive ones like winning the lottery jackpot or seemingly terrible ones like losing the use of our legs in a car accident, DO NOT affect our long-term happiness levels.
We return to the same happiness “set-point” after just a few weeks whether something amazing or not so great happens.
And, some people have a higher or lower set-point than others…
However, research also shows that there are TWO ways that you can increase your “set-point”/permanent level of happiness:
1. Express genuine gratitude on a regular basis…
Listen, it’s the easiest thing in the world to point out what’s wrong in your life…
Our brains are programmed to pay attention to negatives.
So, you have to actively create positives.
And that means simply being aware of them, pointing them out, and feeling genuine gratitude for them as a HABIT.
So, every day, think of (or write down) at least 3 things that you’re grateful for right now.
And then feel genuine gratitude for those things wash over you.
Here’s my simple example for today…
In this moment I am genuinely grateful that:
1. The sun came up again this morning and I get to live another day…
2. I’m in good health at the moment…
3. I have awesome clients all over the world who make it possible for me to do something meaningful to me for a living…
It’s easy once you start doing it every day.
So start doing it right now and then keep it going.
Because expressing genuine gratitude is one of two things that actually DOES make you permanently happier.
On the other side of the coin:
2. Take action to pursue your GENUINE DESIRES…
Being grateful for what you already have is only half of this equation.
We must also take steps to actualize our ideal life.
So, ask yourself: What do I really want?
Try this one too:
What would make your life ideal?
Write down as many answers as you can think of:
“When my life is the best it can be, I am spending my life with an amazing woman who’s deeply in love with me…”
“When my life is the best it can be, I am enjoying financial prosperity…”
“When my life is the best it can be, I am making a difference in the world that I can see…”
Then, once you have a list of at least 10 statements like this, put a star next to the top 3-5 answers that feel the most important to you right now.
Then, for each of those 3-5, write out how you will practically know that you are living that answer at a 10/10 in your life.
For example:
“When my life is the best it can be, I am making a difference in the world that I can see…”
How I know I’m at a 10/10: I have 200,000 YouTube subscribers.
Etc.
Give yourself a way to measure it.
Then, start TAKING ACTION to make it a reality.
You don’t have to make a giant leap; little steps are just as good as long as you’re moving forward.
And it’s this forward motion towards actualization that also increases our happiness “set-point.”
Alright, so now you know how to actually make yourself happier.
And this will also make you less needy and more attractive to women because you’re already happy on your own when you meet them instead of seeking happiness from them.
Especially the ones who also have a good attitude. <==These are the ones we want to spend our time with.
So, do it.
And also make sure you’re lifting weights, walking, eating good food, etc. because taking great care of yourself also allows you to feel good before anyone else ever enters the equation.
These are all things that are within your direct control.
So give happiness to yourself FIRST and then go out and look for a woman who can share in your happiness.
Now, here’s one final thought: Is it actually a good goal to “be happy?”
I’ll leave that one to you and the philosophers…
For me, I think FULFILLMENT is even more valuable.
And you can feel more genuine fulfillment in your life if you have a MISSION that is meaningful to you and you take action toward it as well.
For example, my current mission is to help 100,000 men live their ideal life and share it with their ideal women.
Every day I take at least one action toward that mission.
And it brings me more fulfillment than I could have possibly gotten at my old “safe” job.
So, what are some things meaningful to you that you could work on? What causes do you care about that you could support in some way?
Think about it because it’s FAR better to wake up with purpose each day than it is to get blown around by the world around you.
Now, you don’t have to make your mission part of your career. You just have to do something to help make it happen.
And, as a huge side benefit, a man on a mission is also much more naturally attractive to women.
Alright sir, I hope I’ve given you some healthy food for thought in this article.
I’m genuinely grateful that you took the time to read my thoughts…
And I want you to be happy. 😉
Until Next Time,
Jim
