She’s in love with you…What Now?
Let’s say you met a woman you really like and you did everything right during the first 3 months of dating her so that now she’s completely head-over-heels in love with you (see Part I: How to Make a Woman Fall in Love With You) and you’re her official boyfriend (well done sir…it’s rare that a woman gets to feel such feelings because most guys take a bullet train straight to “rejection-city” instead of giving her the amazing gift of falling TRULY in love….btw…did you know that MOST married women are NOT in love with their husbands?):
How do you make sure she STAYS in love with you whether you want to stay with her for a year or 99 years?
There are 4 things that keep her interest in you extremely high if you get it there in the first place and they are NOT the same 4 things that cause her to FALL in love…
That’s because, at this point, you’ve already “won” (and so has she, btw…we’re all about win-wins here). She already recognizes your value. And, she has earned your attention by treating you well.
So, now we must reward her for her high interest to keep it at a high level instead of continuing to try to raise it.
It’s time to shift into “relationship maintenance” mode…
This is where most guys fail because they think that once they have a girlfriend or wife, their work is done…
So many people get into great shape for their wedding night and honeymoon, get a tan, whiten their teeth, and treat each other well only to “relax” and start taking each other for granted right after that.
Not you, my friend. You’re way too smart for that. You take a long-term view at all times.
Because you’re a winner.
You understand that dating a woman and having a long-term relationship takes a little work to maintain forever, and that it’s worth it if you want to have a sweet, adoring girlfriend or wife instead of an annoying, nagging shrew and if you want to avoid a nasty breakup or divorce and maybe even the possibility of some other guy raising your kids…
The great news is that once you learn exactly what to do, it’s not necessarily HARD; you just have to take action and do it.
And now that you know how to make a woman who likes you a little bit MORE ATTRACTED to you and how to make her FALL IN LOVE with you, let’s cover the 4 things that make her STAY in love with you once you get her there.
If you know all 8 of these things and master them via your behaviors, you will gain total control over your dating life and a woman will never leave you unless you decide to end things with her.
AND: if you’re a “nice guy,” you’ll probably like this part even more. Chances are you’re better at the next 4 things we’ll talk about, and all you have to do is use the 4 attractive male qualities TO GET HER THERE FIRST.
Are you as excited about this as I am? I hope so…
Keeping Her Interested…
Have you ever been broken up with, divorced by a woman, or cheated on?
If you’re like almost every man out there, the answer is yes. And it sucks.
The worst part is that the man usually has no idea that a breakup or divorce is coming, but in the woman’s head it’s been building up for months or years…
Well, I’m here to tell you that having a woman leave you is a completely avoidable and unnecessary experience…once you understand women.
So, now we’ll talk about the 4 specific things that KEEP a woman in love once you get her there so you never have to worry about a woman wanting to leave you.
Sound good?
Excellent…
*Prefer to listen to audio? Check out this YouTube presentation:
==>Click Here to Watch on YouTube
The 4 Things That Keep Her in Love with You
The first thing that KEEPS her interest in you sky-high is:
- Positive Attention
This is where most men fail miserably once they get into a relationship. Not you.
In order to keep her in love, you have to keep dating her and keep giving her positive attention…
What does positive attention mean exactly?
Positive attention means ACTIVELY paying attention to your girlfriend or wife in a POSITIVE way.
And the word paying is very deliberate…
…because the cost of her continued high interest in you is paying her with your positive attention.
When it comes to a long-term relationship with a woman, positive attention means:
-Continue to date her.
This is the most important thing you can do once she’s in love with you. Most guys stop dating their girlfriends or wives at some point and then wonder why she’s eventually unhappy “all of a sudden…”
No matter how busy you are and how many kids you have, continue planning dates with your girlfriend or wife as long as you’re with her.
The goal is to take her out once a week…but NEVER go more than a month without going on a FUN date where you don’t talk about all the negatives in your life like your bills, credit card debt, in-law problems, etc.
It doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. You can take her on a quick hike or grab ice cream or coffee. Just make sure to have FUN with her.
Keep asking her out like you did in the beginning of your relationship once a week to once a month as long as you’re together.
Plan everything yourself and choose a specific day, time, and activity. If she has a better idea, go with it, but otherwise, you are the LOGISTICAL COORDINATOR, so it’s your job to lead this part of your relationship.
As a wise man once told me: “If you don’t date your girlfriend or wife, some other guy might…”
Again, this is absolutely the most important thing (after respecting her in a general sense) that KEEPS her in love with you. So, do it. 🙂
Make it the same priority level as a work meeting, job interview, etc…because it IS if you want her to stay in love with you.
And if you don’t want to go out with her, it’s probably time to reflect on whether or not you want to continue a relationship with someone you don’t even want to date once a week….
Invest in her feelings for you a little bit once a week and reap the returns forever my friend.
-When she wants to show you something or tell you something, give her your full attention for a second.
You can go back to watching the game as soon as you pay her a few seconds of positive attention.
“Oh, those new shoes are awesome honey! Thanks for showing me. I’m looking forward to seeing you wear them on our date next week. What’s that? You want to know where we’re going? No way…that would ruin the surprise. :)”
OR
“That’s so interesting. I had no idea.”
Whenever she asks for your attention through her actions, give it to her. Once you pay attention to her for a few seconds, she will usually leave you in peace in a happier mood.
Then you can get back to what you were doing….
Simple, but not necessarily easy.
Make it a habit to pay her a few seconds of positive attention whenever she asks for it.
If she wants to talk about something serious and you’re busy, just ask her if you can talk at a specific time: “Hey, I really want to hear what you have to say and I also want to finish watching Game of Thrones…Can we sit down and talk about this in 30 mins?”
If you chose a woman with a good attitude, she will be happy to go along with that most of the time.
-When she does something you like, actively let her know.
It’s SO easy to notice negative things, especially after being with someone for a long time.
So we have to make it a new habit to notice and point out the positives.
The time to tease her and challenge her is before she’s in love with you (and a little bit forever to keep it “spicy”).
Now, complimenting her BEHAVIORS is a good thing to do as often as you can:
“Hey, I really appreciate that you put $100 into our joint account today.”
“You know, thanks so much for picking up the kids. I appreciate it.”
“I love watching you read to the kids at night.”
“You are SO sexy when you’re all sweaty from working out…”
Etc.
Also, continue saying “Please,” “Thank You,” “Good Morning,” and Good Night.”
All of these LITTLE behaviors have been shown to have a HUGE effect on her feelings for you over time.
And remember, the presence of positive behaviors is more important than the absence of negatives…
So, actively create a positive relationship with her by doing all of these little things and she won’t even THINK about ever wanting to leave you (assuming you chose a good one…).
The key is to treat her like you did when you first started dating her as much and as long as possible. If you wouldn’t do it on a first date, don’t do it now.
So, once she’s in love with you completely, make sure you give her POSITIVE ATTENTION. If you do, you are 1/4 of the way home when it comes to MAINTAINING her high interest in you as long as you want.
Now let’s talk about the second thing that KEEPS her interest in you sky-high:
2. Respect
There’s a reason respect is the number one value of the mafia. They understand how important it is when it comes to human relationships and group unity.
What they don’t know is that respect applies to a woman staying in love with you even more (again, if you managed to get her there in the first place…).
What does respect mean exactly?
Well, you know what respect means already, so I won’t go too deep into defining it for you. What I will do is give you several examples of how respect applies specifically to dating a woman.
When it comes to a long-term relationship with a woman, respect means:
-Never scream or yell at her (I shouldn’t have to mention never hitting her here, but that’s an obvious one also. If you would do that, go get help with your underlying issues and stay out of a relationship until you get a handle on them).
-Don’t check out other women when you’re with her. Don’t talk about other women with her either.
Imagine what it would be like if she kissed another guy in front of you…that’s what it feels like to her IF she’s truly in love with you. So don’t do it to her.
She will notice and appreciate it because in the back of her mind she knows you will always find other women attractive and that you are showing her respect (and internal strength, btw…).
-When she has what you think is a silly idea, don’t make fun of her or her idea.
Support her instead: “Hey, yeah, we can work on that together…”
She should feel safe expressing herself with you, even if you don’t think her ideas are all that amazing. You don’t have to be fake, just respect her and don’t be RUDE.
Otherwise, date someone else.
-Listen to her without trying to solve her problem. Just let her talk it out.
Then, say, “Is there more?” and let her keep talking.
Women generally like to work things out through the process of talking. Let her solve the problem while you just provide a space for HER to work it out by talking about it.
After she’s completely finished, say something like, “You’re such an intelligent woman, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
DO NOT offer her advice UNLESS SHE ASKS YOU FOR IT specifically. Then, by all means feel free to give her advice.
You can always say, “I’m confident you’ll figure this out…is there any way I can help?” when she’s done talking.
Otherwise, treat her like a capable adult who can handle her own problems. And, if she’s not, consider dating someone else.
If you listen to her without trying to solve her problem, judging her, or giving her advice, you have no idea how RARE and ATTRACTIVE you will be to her.
Give it a try.
If you can’t listen to her for a couple minutes a day, you shouldn’t be with her.
Of course, there are many more things you can do to show her respect, and I’m sure you can come up with a few more yourself.
On the other hand, when you disrespect her, it erodes her interest in you over time. So just do it. 🙂
So, once she’s in love with you completely, make sure you give her POSITIVE ATTENTION and RESPECT her. If you do, you are 1/2 of the way home when it comes to MAINTAINING her high interest in you as long as you want.
Ohhhh man…this train’s really starting to pick up speed now…
If you implement just 25% of what we’ve already covered, you will be one of the most attractive men in your city…
But why stop there?
Let’s keep going to make sure you have total control over your dating life and so you never have to worry about a woman breaking up with you or giving a divorce attorney a huge chunk of your hard-earned money.
Here’s the third thing that KEEPS her interest in you sky-high:
- Teamwork
Did you know that the first antonym on dictionary.com for teamwork is “divorce?”
Quite the accurate statement, dictionary.com…
What does teamwork mean exactly when it comes to maintaining a woman’s love for you?
Essentially, teamwork means that you should date a woman who loves to do things for you and NOT take advantage of her.
That’s the best situation for you if you want to stay with a woman long-term.
Now, you can choose to be with someone who never thinks about doing anything for you if you want, and we’re not trying to be with someone who takes care of us because we already have a “Mom,” but it’s much better for you over the long-term if your woman enjoys doing things for you vs. never thinking about it.
Here’s where teamwork comes into play with that:
IF you manage to choose a woman who has a naturally giving personality, if you don’t reciprocate a little bit and appreciate her, she will eventually RESENT you and it will diminish her feelings for you.
So, find a giving woman and then appreciate her giving attitude and be fair with her according to your own internal sense of fairness.
In other words, don’t take advantage of her.
When it comes to a long-term relationship with a woman, teamwork means (notice the overlap with respect):
- Give her encouragement. Give her moral support. Give her positive reinforcement.
- Make her look good when you’re in public. Show her you’re on her side.
- Talk to her about your big decisions before you make them.
- Stay with her if she’s in the hospital.
- Accept her imperfections and different worldview.
- Work out your differences with her calmly.
- Work out how you will share responsibilities in a way that works for both of you.
- Do the dishes, take out the trash, etc. without her having to ask you. Be equitable. If she cooks, put the dishes away. Don’t take advantage of her.
- Listen to her for a few minutes every day. Give her that time.
- If she has a problem, don’t try to fix it for her, but support her in fixing it.
- Support her ideas. Offer to help her implement them, even if you think they’re silly.
- Give her support, encouragement, solidarity, and faith.
- Be her equal partner in all things.
- Don’t be her psychotherapist, her teacher, her coach, her father, or her son; be her lover and teammate.
- Your ideal attitude is, “I believe in you and I’m here to support you 100%.”
- Treat her as your equal teammate.
So, once she’s in love with you completely, make sure you give her POSITIVE ATTENTION, RESPECT, and TEAMWORK. If you do, you are 3/4 of the way home when it comes to MAINTAINING her high interest in you as long as you want.
And now let’s get into the fourth and final thing that KEEPS her interest in you sky-high:
- Positive Humor
What does positive humor mean exactly when it comes to maintaining a woman’s love for you?
Well, hard times are guaranteed in life, and a positive, playful attitude expressed via good humor makes life’s difficulties more tolerable. It’s a valuable gift you can give her.
If you’re often playful and use humor positively because you don’t take yourself or life too seriously, humor makes your relationship better.
However, studies also show that negative humor use makes relationships worse.
If you use humor as a way to avoid dealing with things or to subtly put yourself or other people down, it’s a negative.
When it comes to a long-term relationship with a woman, positive humor means:
- Cut out the self-deprecating humor.
- Don’t use humor to avoid important issues.
- It’s great to playfully tease her, but cut out humor that truly puts her down or subtly tries to control her.
- Don’t make jokes that put other people down either.
- Don’t take yourself or life too seriously. Don’t take things personally. Stay playful and positive as much as you can.
- Entertain yourself and share it with her.
- Laugh at her silly jokes.
- Make her laugh as often as possible, just not at your expense. Tease her lightly but never put her down.
- Maintain a light, playful, fun environment with her as much as possible.
So, once she’s in love with you completely, make sure you give her POSITIVE ATTENTION, RESPECT, TEAMWORK, and POSITIVE HUMOR.
If you do, she will stay in love with you as long as you want (assuming you got her there to begin with and she’s relatively psychologically stable…).
Does it take a little bit of work to maintain her positive feelings forever?
Yes.
Can it be done?
Yes.
Is it worth it?
That’s up to you.
Of course, there are other things you can do to make your relationship better. However, how much she likes or loves you is the number 1 factor in how strong your relationship is, so it’s extremely important to start here.
And, if her interest in you slips below the “she’s completely in love with you” line, you will have to go back to demonstrating the 4 attractive male qualities, and then, when her interest is back where it belongs, start the maintenance program again.
It’s far better and easier to just do the things that will maintain her interest than to try to keep building it back up again and again.
I really hope you enjoyed this article and got some usable value out of it (here’s Part I in case you missed it…)
Let me know how it goes!
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