Respect is the cornerstone of all good relationships…
And, if a woman doesn’t respect you, she can’t be in love with you.
It’s that simple.
So, obviously, respect is important if you want to be successful in your quest to attract and keep good women in your life…
And a lot of really good guys struggle with this.
And so, in this article, we’ll cover 3 ways to actually respect a woman and 3 ways to GET respect from a woman.
How to Respect and Get Respect From Women…
Let’s start with 3 ways you can respect a woman:
1. When you’re out in public with her, don’t check out other women.
This becomes more important the longer you’re with a woman, but it can lower a woman’s interest in you even on the first date.
So, even though you’ll always be attracted to lots of women and there’s not much you can do about it, save your wandering eyes for when the woman you’re dating isn’t around. =)
Remember: When you’re with her, she’s the only woman you’re attracted to in the entire world and she’s the first woman you’ve ever dated. <==This is the attitude you want to have and how you want to make her feel; not some kind of “deep truth.”
Now, you don’t want to come off as “creepy” by giving her ALL of your attention in a super intense kind of way, getting too close to her too soon, leaning in to make sure you hear every sound she makes, etc.
You just want to avoid talking about other women you’ve dated or want to date and avoid checking out other women or flirting with them when you’re with her.
And, more importantly, respecting a woman DOES NOT make her more interested in you…
However, not respecting a woman can definitely LOWER a woman’s interest in you during the beginning stages of dating…
And showing her respect is one of the most important parts of maintaining female interest once she’s deeply in love with you and you’re in a long-term relationship.
So, do it. =)
2. Never yell at her or physically attack her.
This one should go without saying…but just in case: Don’t do it.
3. Listen to her properly…
What does that mean?
A. Let’s start with what it doesn’t mean: Leaning into the conversation and hanging on her every word.
In the beginning stages of dating, you want to lean back, alternate between comfortable eye contact and looking away, and listening to what she’s saying without trying to hard to hear her.
When you ask her open-ended questions (<==good idea…) and she responds by telling you about herself and her life, you should be able to recall the details she shares with you later.
Just don’t keep leaning into and out of the conversation like an eager puppy dog. =)
Talk louder if you must for her to hear you, but let her lean into you.
Remember: We want to encourage her to come to you. And you can’t do that by always moving toward her.
B. Once you’re in a committed relationship with her and she’s in love with you (after the first 2-3 months), listen to her for at least a few minutes a day without trying to solve her problems.
When she’s telling you about a problem, your first instinct is probably going to be to try to help her solve it…
However, if you actually RESPECT her, you truly believe that she’s capable of solving her own problems for the most part unless she asks for advice.
So just say something like, “You know what, you’re such an intelligent, capable woman. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
Listen: Women tend to work out problems by talking about them and rolling them around in their minds.
So, let her.
And, of course, if she ASKS for your advice, go ahead and give it to her. =)
C. Respect her opinions no matter how “outlandish” they are.
If you’re stuck, you can always just say, “That’s interesting…”
Now, you don’t have to agree with her opinions; you just have to respect that her opinions are her business and it’s not your job to debate her or make her change her mind.
And, listen, if you find it impossible to respect a woman’s opinions for whatever reason, it’s probably time to date someone else who’s a better match for you.
And that’s a perfect transition into 3 ways to GET respect from a woman…
How to GET RESPECT from a Woman
1. Share your own strong opinions.
Being able to share your opinion without being disagreeable is a big key to getting the respect you deserve from women and everyone else.
So, say what you think.
And, if you disagree with her, let her know.
Just do it in a way that doesn’t make her wrong…
You’re not saying that her opinions are stupid, wrong, etc.
You’re not trying to convince her that you’re right.
It’s just what YOU THINK.
Use phrases like, “I think…” and “In my opinion…” etc. and then share your opinion.
Because when a woman notices that you can share your strong perspective and do it in a way that doesn’t demean anyone else, you get double respect and her attraction for you grows.
2. Don’t do big favors for her/small favors easily in the beginning stages of dating.
Listen, if you let a woman use you, she can’t respect you.
And, even if she’s a super-sweet, innocent kind of girl, she might still TEST you by seeing how far you’ll go to get her positive attention.
And one way she might do that is to ask you for favors and see how you respond (of course, most of the time when a woman asks for big favors right away, she’s just the kind of woman who uses men and you want to avoid her…but it’s also just a test sometimes so you have to see how things play out and look for consistent patterns).
So, when a woman asks for a small favor in the beginning stages of dating, make sure you get something in return before you agree to do it.
For example, if she says, “Hey, can you hold my purse while I go freshen up for a minute?”
You say, “Will you grab me a drink on your way back?”
Then, when she agrees, you say, “Okay no problem. Leave your purse with me.”
Or, at the very least, make sure she says, “Please” before you agree to do something for her.
Pro Tip: Ask her for a small favor on your first date/when you first meet her.
For example, you could start a conversation with a woman standing at a bar by asking her to hand you a napkin or a straw…
Why?
Because we like people more when we do things for them (and NOT when they do things for us).
So, if you want her to be more attracted to you, let her do some things for you (because you doing things for her DOES NOT make her more attracted to you).
Make sense?
Excellent.
Now, if a woman asks you to do a BIG favor for her during the beginning stages of dating (the first 2-3 months, before she’s deeply in love and before you’re in a committed relationship with her), POLITELY DECLINE.
She has friends who can help her move to a new apartment, mow her lawn, wash her car, etc.
Let them do those things for her.
Here’s the thing: Once she’s your official girlfriend and she’s deeply in love with you, you can do a big favor for her every once in a while.
You can help her move across town and you probably should at that point.
Just not before that.
Remember: A woman can’t fall in love or stay in love with you if she doesn’t RESPECT you.
3. Show what you won’t tolerate with your ACTIONS.
For example, if a woman doesn’t show up for a date, don’t ask her out again.
Or, if she does something that doesn’t sit well with you in your gut, talk to her about it and be prepared to walk away if necessary.
See, a woman needs to know without you telling her that if things get too bad you’ll walk.
That’s the FOUNDATION of her respect for you and you can’t tell her; you have to SHOW her via your actions over time.
She needs to know you have boundaries and standards – a line that you stick to if anyone crosses it, even if it’s a woman you’re very attracted to.
After all, if she’s going to choose to be with you, she needs to know that you can stand up to the big bad world for her and possibly your children at some point…
And how can she think that if you can’t even stand up to her?
Oftentimes, when you show a woman with your actions that you have a line she can’t cross, she’ll come back toward you HARD because it raises her interest level.
And at that point you can decide if you want to keep dating her or if what she did was a total deal-breaker for you.
Either way, when you don’t tolerate things you don’t want to tolerate and you simply enforce your boundaries with ACTION instead of getting pissed off, yelling, or throwing a temper-tantrum, you get RESPECT from the most important person in the world when it comes to getting respect:
Yourself.
And, when you respect yourself, respect from women and the world naturally follows.
Until Next Time,
Jim
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