Have you ever gotten an email or a letter from a credit card company saying, “Congratulations, you are PRE-APPROVED for a new credit card (or a credit limit increase)?”
Well, let’s say you actually want a new card or more credit…
When you apply to accept their offer, do you feel the same way as you do when you’re applying for a job or applying to a university?
Of course not…
I mean, they could still say no at the end of the day, but they’re almost guaranteed to say yes because you have already passed the first step of qualifying for the new line of credit before you apply.
Now, how does this principle apply to your dating life?
Great question…
Qualification: How to Increase Attraction and
Deepen Your Connection with a Woman at the same time…
When most guys meet a woman they’re attracted to, here’s how it usually works:
It is assumed by the man (and probably by the woman as well) that she is PRE-QUALIFIED or PRE-APPROVED and he is not…
Now, of course, a woman can still turn a guy off every once in a while, but 95% of the time she’s the one who’s pre-approved.
So, it’s usually the man who feels like he’s in the weaker position.
Well, what if we turned this situation on it’s head?
I highly encourage you to flip the “pre-qualification assumption” from now on.
In other words, when you meet a woman you’re attracted to, assume that you’re pre-qualified to be with her.
Of course, she can still end up not being interested in you…
However, if you act as if you’re already pre-qualified and you’re trying to find out if she is a good fit for you vs. thinking you have to completely prove yourself while she doesn’t have to at all your behaviors will give you the best chance with a woman naturally.
And here’s the thing: When you’re applying for a loan it’s a one-sided affair…
The loan officer can accept or reject your application.
And when you buy something it’s a one-sided affair.
You just decide that you want that item and buy it.
Dating is a two-sided affair.
Both of you are applying for the loan and both of you are deciding to accept or reject.
Both of you are buying and selling at the same time.
That’s the actual truth.
So the problem is that most men treat dating like a one-sided loan application process when it actually goes both ways.
So, if you treat dating a woman like BOTH of you are deciding if the other one is a good choice or not, which is just the simple truth, you have a major leg up on your competition.
And, the behaviors that follow from this general attitude are also wildly attractive to women.
For example, when you QUALIFY a woman, it makes her more interested in you (assuming her interest is above 0 to begin with).
On the other hand, when you qualify yourself to a woman, which is essentially anything you do to try to convince her to like you, she becomes less interested in you and loses attraction.
So, you want to assume that you are a good choice for her (of course you are…I mean, you’re not better or worse than anyone else but you’re pretty dang awesome) and treat the situation like you’re just trying to see if she’s a good choice for you also. <==This will make you the most attractive version of yourself naturally if you do it correctly.
Remember: The less you try to convince a woman to like you, the more likely it is that she will actually like you.
Ironic how it works…
So, from now on, when you’re dating a woman, qualify her instead of qualifying yourself to her and both of you will be better off.
How to Qualify a Woman…
Now, you can start the process of qualifying a woman by giving her some approval for what she’s shown you already and then also asking her to show you more of herself so you can see if you should be more interested in her or not.
When you do that, you communicate to her that you’re not completely SOLD on her yet.
In other words, she’s not fully qualified to be with you yet…
She might qualify, but you’re not sure.
You’ll have to get to know her over time and SEE. <==This is the most successful approach to dating if you want to be in a long-term relationship with a woman who actually has deep feelings for you.
So, don’t be so sure about a woman so soon…
Let things play out and make sure she’s truly qualified to be with an awesome guy like you based on her character and the things you’re looking for in a woman beyond looks. <==This also has the side benefit of making her more attracted to you…
And here’s one powerful way you can start to qualify a woman instead of constantly qualifying yourself to her during your first conversation with her or during your first date:
After you banter with her and playfully tease her for a little while, give her some approval (she’s qualified a little bit now because she’s having fun with you and being a cool person):
“Haha, hey you seem like so much fun…” <==Light compliment/a little approval/she’s qualified a little bit…
Then, ask her to show you more (she still isn’t 100% approved yet to be your girlfriend or continue dating because you want to get to know her more first):
“Tell me, if you hit the lottery jackpot and never had to work again, what would you do then and why?”
Her answer to this qualifying question will tell you something about her character.
And the fact that you WANT to know more about who she is as a person:
1. Makes her feel more connected to you…
2. Makes her realize that you’re not completely sold on her yet and want to get to know her better so that if you end up being with her it’s because you like her for her personality; not just her looks…
3. Makes her more attracted to you because now she’s selling herself to you…
4. Makes you stand out from every other guy she meets who is constantly trying to sell himself to her…
Etc.
Make sense?
Awesome.
This is great for you and for her at the same time.
You should do this in your first conversation or on your first date with every woman you want to date.
And, by the way, if a woman has been bantering back and forth with you and then she also tries to give you good answers to your qualifying questions, you can assume she’s interested in you and either take her some place where you can be alone and go for a kiss etc. or just realize that she will probably go out with you again if you ask (wait 4-8 days and then ask her out again).
At that point, attraction has been established…
So you can take it wherever you want it to go from there.
If you just want to have short-term connections with women, follow the steps we cover inside The Good Guy Guide…
Or, if you want a long-term relationship, follow the steps inside the Attract and Keep Her system.
And don’t forget: If you want a girlfriend, you want to make sure she’s a good fit for you over the course of 6-10 dates, not decide you want to be with her after seeing her for 6 seconds…
And if you want to get married to a woman it takes about 2 years to fully get to know someone and understand exactly what you’re getting into.
So, when you meet a woman you’re attracted to, slow things down and see how her personality unfolds over time.
And try to enjoy the process.
Ironically, this approach is likely to make her more concerned about moving things forward more quickly.
And everything’s better when it’s her idea. =)
Alright sir, I gotta go…
Remember: From now on YOU are pre-approved.
You still have to apply but your chances are better than before.
Until Next Time,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
