John Wooden, legendary coach of ten championship UCLA basketball teams, once said:
“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.”
SO true Mr. Wooden, so true.
Especially when it comes to dating women…
Things that seem small can be a really big deal when it comes to your dating success.
Like doing favors for women when you first start dating them.
The way you handle it when a woman asks you for big and small favors in the beginning stages of dating (first 2-3 months) sets the tone for how your relationship with her will go…
And it has an even bigger (negative) effect on your chances with a woman if you just try to do favors for her all on your own without her even asking you…
Because that behavior lowers your value in her mind and there’s nothing she can even do about it.
Now, here’s the deal: After you’re in a committed relationship with a woman and you’ve been dating her for at least 2-3 months, you can do a big favor for her like help her move across town…
Just not until then.
Up until that point, you want to politely decline when she asks you for a big favor.
And you can do a small favor for her when you first meet her as long as you ask her to do something small for you FIRST or at least make sure she says, “Please.”
So, if she says, “Can you watch my purse while I go freshen up real quick?”
You say, “Can you grab me a drink on your way back?”
Then, when she says, “Sure, no problem.”
You say, “Of course you can leave your purse with me.”
OR, alternatively, you can say (if she didn’t say please), “What do you say?”
And then when she says, “Please” you can say, “Okay, sure, I’ll watch your purse. No problem.” =)
Or, if she already said please, you can say, “Sure, but only because you said please.” 😉
Remember: You don’t get what you deserve in life…
You get what you negotiate.
Especially with women.
Should it be that way?
I don’t know…
Is it that way?
Most definitely.
Now, if you already own the Attract and Keep Her System, then you already know all of this…
Just like one of my top clients G.F. who sent me an excellent follow-up question about doing favors for women:
“I know in your book you talk about not doing favors without something in return. Would covering for a girl at work count as a big favor? I was gonna see a new movie and was gonna ask her to come with us.” – G.F.
RE: Doing favors for women…
Here’s what I told him:
Hi G.F.,
Ahhhh, good question…
Let’s take a closer look at this situation because there’s actually a lot going on here (again, it’s the little details that count the most, so let’s dive deeper into this):
1. Why are you asking her on a group date?
It’s okay to do this AFTER she’s your official girlfriend and/or you’ve been on 5-10 dates already.
Until then, ask her to meet up with you one on one.
2. Taking a woman to a movie is a really bad idea in general for the first 3-4 dates.
If you’ve already gone out with her one-on-one 4 times, take her to a movie if you want…
Otherwise take her somewhere where you can physically interact or at least have a conversation vs. sitting next to a stranger in the dark without moving or talking to each other.
3. If you work with her, it’s generally not a good idea to date a woman from work…
If you don’t work with her, then you want to ask her for a one on one date that works for your schedule and then she can decide if it works for her or get her shift covered if necessary…
Listen, if a woman wants to go out with you, she will figure out her schedule on her own. It’s a bad sign if you have to do that for her and puts you in a bad position.
And, if you ask a woman out and she actually can’t go because of a work meeting or something, she will make you a SPECIFIC counter-offer:
“Wednesday at 8 won’t work…how about Thursday at 8?”
Etc.
Does all of that make sense?
So, in this case, it’s not really about whether or not you should do a favor for a woman…
It’s about putting yourself in the best possible position that gives you the best chance of success.
That’s what we do around here and that’s one of the many reasons women love us so much. =)
You’re awesome and I’ll be back with you soon…
Until Next Time,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
