Let’s dive a little deeper into the female world for a minute because I think it will make it easier for you to attract a good one.
See, there are two big reasons why women do things that can be so confusing sometimes and clearing them up can be extremely helpful when it comes to dating and relationships:
1. For much of human history, females have had to depend on the favor of powerful males to determine how good their lives could be…
If a woman could get the right men to like them, their lives would be better and they and their children would be protected.
It was one of the only ways they could make their lives better.
And that’s something we’re all trying to do: Make our lives and the lives of our children as good as they can be…
It’s just that women have often had to use their charms on men to achieve these outcomes vs. other means of improving our lives.
2. Women tend to be physically smaller than men in general…
So, brute force is not really an option for them.
And what do those two realities of human history mean for us now when it comes to dating a woman today?
Well, it means that women had to develop ways to manipulate, confuse, and influence men while also being able to make men feel good.
It was a requirement for their very SURVIVAL.
And now it seems as though it’s hard-coded into the female brain.
And that’s why it can easily appear that a woman likes you when in fact her real interest in you is 0.
It’s the easiest thing in the world for a good-looking woman to fool a man, no matter how smart, rich, famous, or powerful he happens to be.
For example, many women can go on a date with a guy they have no interest in, flirt with him, and make him think she really likes him without even blinking an eye or feeling bad about it at all.
And why would she feel bad about it when it’s a survival tactic?
I don’t blame women AT ALL for this kind of behavior (even though there are a lot of awesome women out there who only date men they’re truly interested in).
However, I’m on the side of men when it comes to dating and relationships because I think they need more help at the moment.
While I respect women and I want both people in a relationship to be happy, I’m 100% on your team.
And listen, a woman can flirt with you, give you her number, agree to go out with you, go on a date with you, hook up with you, agree to be your girlfriend and sometimes even marry you when she has no real interest in you at all and most guys would have no idea they were in this situation until it’s too late.
And we don’t want to be in that situation.
We want to be with a woman who’s truly interested in us and who doesn’t have some other kind of agenda.
So, what we have to do is take the reality of how women are, not judge them for it, and then figure out a way to not get fooled by their powerful and confusing tactics.
We have to find a way to determine if a woman is really interested in us or if she has some other agenda.
And we have to control ourselves and not get too excited about a woman before her REAL interest in us has finally been revealed after a few weeks have gone by.
Remember: How interested a woman is in YOU is the most important factor in your relationship with her from the first moment you meet her until you’ve been married to her for 75 years.
And it doesn’t matter how interested you are in her.
Your interest in her and her interest in you are completely separate.
And what we have to do to be successful with women is focus on HER interest in us (and ignore our own interest because it’s irrelevant – your interest in her does not make her more interested in you. Ever).
Many times, we think a woman is probably interested in us just because we like her a lot…
In other words, beyond a woman being able to easily fool us, we also tend to project our interest onto her, hope she likes us too, and then “try to get her.”
We often think that if we like a woman there must be a way to make her fall for us too.
Well, that approach is backwards.
If we want to be successful we have to look at how interested a woman is in us regardless of how we feel about her.
If she’s interested in you, we’re in business. We can make her more interested in you.
However, if she’s not interested in you, there’s nothing you can do.
And, even if she decides to be “with you” she will never have any real feelings for you.
You don’t want to be with a woman like that. It’s never worth it no matter how good-looking she is.
You deserve to be with a woman who actually likes you and one who doesn’t will only cause you tremendous pain and suffering at some point.
So, your best (only) play is to move on.
Everything else is a tremendous waste of time and energy and causes nothing but pain and confusion.
So how can we know for sure if a woman is genuinely interested in us or there’s something else going on so that we can be successful and avoid unnecessary pain and confusion?
The TRUTH about Female Interest (the ONLY way to read it correctly)…
The key is to read her ACTIONS over time and ignore her words.
You have to read between the lines.
For example, if a woman you haven’t contacted yet sends you an emoji on a dating app, the actual emoji or content of her message means nothing…
However, the fact that she sent you a message first does mean something.
(This is also why you want to make your texts to her a little less frequent and a little shorter than her messages to you: it’s the subtext of things that matter most, not the content of what you’re doing).
And a woman saying “I like you a lot! =)” means nothing to me.
On the other hand, a woman passionately kissing you at the end of your second date and then showing up excited for your THIRD date with her does mean something.
Finally, a woman saying “I love you so much,” also means NOTHING.
However, a woman treating you well and showing you that she loves you means everything.
Make sense?
Great.
Now, here’s how you can tell FOR SURE if a woman is interested in you:
First of all, you must follow the plan we cover inside the Attract and Keep Her system consistently so you can get an accurate reading.
If you don’t take the right measured steps forward, your reading on her interest will be off.
Then, look for CHECKPOINTS.
Whenever a woman passes a checkpoint, it’s a real indication of her interest in you.
Every other sign could be interpreted however you want.
For example, a woman playing with her hair while she’s talking to you might be an indicator of interest…
Or it might be nothing.
On the other hand, when she grabs your head and makes out with you it’s a much more accurate sign that she’s truly into you.
So, here are the CHECKPOINTS you should look for that indicate a woman’s REAL interest in you:
Checkpoint #1: She has fun talking to you instead of ignoring you or trying to shut down the conversation.
So far, so good.
Checkpoint #2: She gives you her number (with enthusiasm).
If a woman gives me her number but she doesn’t seem like she really wants to give it to me, I will never contact her.
That’s up to you but just remember that lots of women will give you their numbers even if they’re not interested in you.
Checkpoint #3: She agrees to your date invitation.
And, if she can’t make the day and time you offer, she suggests a SPECIFIC alternative (some other time doesn’t count).
Listen, if you have to ask a woman out three times before she says yes, you’re asking to be with a woman who isn’t into you.
In this case, persistence is NOT a virtue.
Ask her out once and if she says no without offering you a specific alternative, stop contacting her and move on.
If that’s too extreme for you, you can try asking her out one more time if you want (I wouldn’t but it’s up to you).
Never ask her out more than twice if she doesn’t agree to go out with you or make a specific counter-offer.
Checkpoint #4: She actually shows up for your date (on time).
A lot of women will say yes to your date invite and then cancel sometime just before your date or simply not show up at all.
Yep, even if it felt like they really wanted to go out with you.
Flirting Females can easily Fool the best of us.
That’s why we use checkpoints.
Remember: She doesn’t want to have a negative confrontation with you, especially if she has no interest in you, and she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. So, sometimes it’s easier to say, “Yes” at first and then cancel on you or to make some kind of excuse instead of saying, “No” to you directly. Accept this as part of the “dance” of dating and move FORWARD.
Checkpoint #5: She kisses you/kisses you back when you go for a kiss by the end of the second date.
Listen, you have to go for a kiss by the end of the second date if you want to be with a woman.
If for no other reason than it provides an accurate test of her real interest in you as a romantic partner while keeping you out of the friend zone.
If she turns her head when you go for a kiss, I would stop contacting her unless you want to be friends with her.
Checkpoint #6: She shows up for your THIRD date.
This is a big one.
If you make it to the third date with a woman, there’s an excellent chance you can eventually make her your girlfriend and/or wife.
So, instead of focusing on the first date, zoom out a little bit and start thinking about the first three dates as the most critical time in any new relationship.
Checkpoint #7: She brings up the idea of being in a relationship with you.
If a woman is interested in you and available and you do everything right with her, by the time you get to your sixth to tenth date with her (this takes about two to three months), her interest will have climbed high enough for her to want to be in a committed relationship with you.
And when her interest in you reaches this point, she will bring up the idea of being in a relationship with you.
That’s another big reason why you don’t bring up the idea of being together with her (besides the fact that your interest in her does not increase her interest in you): We want to wait until she brings it up because that’s the only way to know for sure she’s ready.
Now, a woman generally won’t be direct and say, ‘Hey, do you want to be my boyfriend?’
What she’ll usually do is say something like, “Hey, by the way, where is this relationship headed?” or, “What are we?” or, “Where is this thing between us going?”
And that’s how you know her interest in you is high enough for her to be in a committed long-term relationship with you. Until then, you can never be sure.
So, wait until she brings up the topic of being together with you.
Then, at that point, you can ask her to be your girlfriend if you want.
Never do it sooner. Always wait until she brings it up first, then ask her.
And you don’t have to do it right away. You can ask her on your next date a week later, for example.
Just make sure you wait until she brings it up before you ask her to be in a relationship with you.
This is the most important checkpoint for her to pass if you want to be in a long-term relationship with her.
It means her real interest in you is very high and you’ve made it.
Now, you just have to maintain her interest in you, but that’s a topic for another day.
Checkpoint #8: She brings up the idea of being married to you.
This is the last checkpoint she can pass in the beginning stages of your relationship that tell you how she really feels about you.
If you’ve been doing everything right with her, she passes checkpoint #7, and she becomes your girlfriend, after you’ve been dating for a year or two she will bring up the idea of being married to you at some point.
And that’s how you know when it’s the right time to propose to her: When she brings up the idea of being married to you.
Now, just like checkpoint #7, she probably won’t get down on her knee and ask you to marry her.
She’ll find an indirect way to bring it up.
Then, at that point, you can get down on one knee with a ring and ask her to marry you if you want.
And, if you want to be traditional, you can ask her father if it’s okay with him first.
Just make sure you wait at least 2 years from the time you started dating her to actually get married to make absolutely sure both of you know exactly what you’re getting into.
And that, my friend, is how you can tell for sure if a woman is really into you or not regardless of any games she might play or any wishful thinking you might be doing.
And using the checkpoints is the only way to not get fooled and avoid unnecessary pain and confusion with women.
So use them as your guide from now on.
You’re awesome and I’ll be back with you soon.
Until Next Time,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
