Relating to other people in general can be frustrating sometimes…
And, of course, dating and relating to women can be especially frustrating for us as men.
However, it doesn’t have to be that way…
If you implement just one of the following 10 steps, you’ll reduce your frustration with women significantly…
Implement all 10 and you’ll eliminate your frustration with women almost completely.
And, you’ll be able to handle minor frustrations that come from interacting with any human being no matter how much you like/love them smoothly:
1. Stop making “covert contracts…”
When you do something, never do it expecting something in return, especially if it’s not 100% clear to the OTHER PERSON that you expect something specific in return.
Don’t text a woman to get her to text you back.
Don’t do nice things for her to get her to like you.
Don’t take her to dinner and think that means that she’s supposed to treat you well or like you more or sleep with you.
Don’t do “everything” for her and hope that she’ll do something for you someday.
When you do something hoping to get something in return, it leads to tons of pointless frustration over time when other people don’t fulfill their end of the “covert contract” you secretly made with them.
And, when it comes to your relationships with women, it leads to RESENTMENT…and resentment is the silent assassin of relationships.
Remember: It’s not anyone’s job to read your mind; if you want something make it clear.
The next one is related…
2. Share FREELY instead of trying to get something…
ONLY give things to people and do things for people that you can give or do FREELY without ever getting anything in return and still feel 100% good about it.
Did you know that the human brain doesn’t interpret something as a true “gift” if it thinks you want something in return or if it thinks that you put too much work into it?
See, small “sacrifices” are GREAT for relationships.
So go ahead and buy her a $4.00 coffee on your first date.
And, if you suggest a date idea and she GENUINELY has a better idea that you like, go with it if you want.
On the other hand, big “sacrifices” are HORRIBLE for relationships (yes, the data shows this is true even if you’ve been together for 50 years…).
So, DON’T buy her a $100 steak at a restaurant you HATE just because she wants to go there on your first date.
(Now, even if you can afford to do expensive things any time, don’t spend a lot of money on her until she’s your official girlfriend, she’s already in love with you completely, and you’ve been with her for at least 2-3 months for other reasons…).
And DON’T give in and go hang out with her and do what she wants to do when you have something important to do or something else that you really want to do instead (because when you do, it builds RESENTMENT, which again is the silent killer of relationships. It’s actually WORSE for her too in the long-run).
When you ONLY do things you truly want to do and give things you can give comfortably, you win.
You can make a small compromise here and there when required…And, it’s a good thing to work with a woman who treats you well also…
However, if you do things you don’t want to do or make sacrifices to try to get a particular outcome, you will eventually be FRUSTRATED.
The martyr role isn’t a good look for a man when it comes to dating. So make sure you’re ONLY giving freely and you’ll never be disappointed if it doesn’t “directly” come back to you. You simply don’t need it to.
Take care of yourself at a high level FIRST, take care of your own needs, and then share the abundant overflow that’s left over with the world (and the women you date) FREELY.
3. EXPECT a certain % of women to FLAKE on you…
No matter how awesome you are, no matter how good your “game” is, and no matter how much it seems like she likes you, a woman will STILL “flake” on you sometimes.
That means that you’ll think you had a great “connection” with her, she’ll agree to go out with you, you’ll get excited, and then she either won’t show up or she’ll text you a few hours to 30 minutes before your date and cancel.
EXPECT this to happen sometimes and you won’t be so frustrated when it does.
It doesn’t mean ANYTHING about you at all.
And that brings us nicely to the next step:
4. Only date women who are ACTUALLY interested in you…
As soon as you figure out she’s NOT interested in you, move on quickly.
This might sound obvious, but dating women who like you is a lot less frustrating than trying to date women who aren’t. =)
5. Don’t focus on one woman too soon.
You can if you want to, but know this:
There are MANY “ones” out there for you.
There’s no such thing as a “soul mate,” and, if there is, you have thousands of them…
The less you focus on one particular woman (in the beginning stages of dating), the less frustration you’ll experience.
6. Build a lifestyle you love whether any particular woman likes you or not…
Remember that women are like the delicious cherry on top of your dessert; they are NOT the dessert.
If you love your daily life with or without her, you’ll be a lot less frustrated if it doesn’t work out with her.
So, do more of what you love and cut out things you don’t.
7. Only date reliable, giving women with good attitudes…
Relationships are tough at best…
They’re even tougher if the woman you’re dating isn’t self-reliant, never thinks about doing anything for you, and/or has a bad attitude.
It might be okay at first because she’s “super hot”…
But, after a while, it will only lead to FRUSTRATION.
So, weed out women who don’t have their s#*t mostly together, who are selfish and never do anything for you, and who have bad attitudes as quickly as possible.
Life’s too short to be with women like that…which brings us nicely to #8:
8. Don’t put up with s#*t you don’t want…
Remember that you get what you TOLERATE.
If you put up with something, you’re telling her that what she’s doing is okay.
Listen: Being single is FAR better than settling…
So, stand up for yourself and who you are and what you want.
If it gets too bad, get out of there.
Walk.
Away.
You don’t have to show her your anger and you should never try to change or control someone…just cut your losses and walk away.
When you don’t tolerate the things that you don’t want to tolerate, you never feel frustrated…strange isn’t it? =)
9. ACCEPT the REALITY that women respond consistently to certain behaviors when it comes to dating…
Women don’t (can’t) love you for “you.” Only YOU can do that (and it’s 100% your responsibility to love and accept yourself completely).
Women fall in love (or out of love) with your BEHAVIOR.
So, don’t take it so personally even though it might seem incredibly personal.
Also, EXPECT her mood to change randomly and for her to think and behave differently than you.
10. Go where the women are…
Do the best you can when it comes to giving yourself the best possible chance to meet large numbers of the kind of women you like.
Sign up for more than one online dating profile and download multiple dating apps…
Do activities that you GENUINELY enjoy that have more women than men…
If you live in a small town in Alaska, consider moving to a bigger city if you can…
Because the more real options you have, the less frustrated you’ll be.
And, there you have it…
Do all 10 of the above and your frustration with women will disappear (or at least be reduced to a manageable level).
Until Next Time…
Cheers,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
