Most men, even with the amount of information out there these days, have no idea that the concept of CHALLENGE even exists when it comes to attracting women…
And challenge is what women really want (or, to be more precise, what women actually respond to when it comes to raising female interest).
So, when a guy first starts learning the truth about attraction and love, he usually decides to start being more of a challenge…
And, because he’s being a challenge, he starts getting better results with women.
However, a lot of guys hit a wall at that point because they:
1. Forget the main purpose of being a challenge, which is to raise a woman’s interest in you and to actually be with her (not to ultimately push her away)…
2. Don’t completely understand what being a challenge means and how to apply the concept properly.
For example, you should wait 4-8 days after each date to ask a woman out again…
However, if she asks you out before that, you should ACCEPT her invitation unless she asks to meet up the same day (then you say, “I’d love to hang out but I’m busy today…can we meet up tomorrow [or another day 2-3 days from now is even better] instead?”)…
Why?
Because when she asks you out it’s HER IDEA…
And that’s the whole point of being a challenge in the first place: raising HER interest in you and making being with you HER idea.
If it’s her idea to go out with you, kiss you, hook up with you, be with you, become your girlfriend, and/or marry you then you’re winning the “game” (and so is she).
And everything’s better when it’s her idea.
Remember: The purpose of being a challenge is to raise her interest level and encourage HER to chase YOU…
Because when she’s coming toward you she can’t reject you at the same time. <==Read 3X…
And because when you hang back and wait before you make your next move instead of rushing into rejection it allows time and space for her interest in you to grow.
And it grows the most when she makes a move toward you.
So, we want her coming toward you as much as possible.
And that’s why most men are not as successful with women as they’d like to be: They make as many moves as possible toward a woman and never allow her to make any moves toward them.
And so how can you set things up so that a woman you’re dating at least has the opportunity to come toward you while still taking the lead?
Great question…
Make Everything HER IDEA…
Let’s go through a few examples of how this actually plays out in real life…
Starting with a question I got from a VIP client the other day.
He asked:
“A woman I’m dating messaged me to say that she is there and noticed that I am online but have not messaged her much…it is the first time that she has admitted to following me to see that I am online so I think that this reflects an increase in her interest in me.
I think that I should ignore this message but what is the best way?
Thanks.
-K.S.”
First of all, this question reflects a solid knowledge of how attraction works in the first place…
Secondly, it’s a great question that really shows how things play out in the real world.
Here’s what happened: He kept his cool and didn’t message her a lot like every other guy she’s ever met who liked her.
So, she noticed it…
And then she asked him about it…<==In other words, SHE brought it up.
And when a woman asks you about something like that, it’s a strong indicator of interest.
So, here’s how you handle it:
Instead of playing hard to get or ignoring this kind of incoming message, you say something like, “Would you like me to message you more often?”
And then if she says, “Well, yeah!”
You say, “Ok, I think I can do that. =)”
Make sense?
So, it’s NOT okay to message her a lot before she brings it up (this is you being a CHALLENGE)…
However, when she brings it up, you ask her if she wants you to message her more often, and then if she says yes you can message her a little more often after that.
Why?
BECAUSE IT’S HER IDEA…
Make sense?
Awesome.
Let’s go through a few more examples so this really starts to sink in and so you can apply it to a lot of specific situations:
Let’s keep going on the texting thing for the next one…
Let’s say a woman texts you something like “Hey, why haven’t you asked me to meet up again yet?!” after 3 days have passed since your first date with her…
You can say, “Hey! I was just about to text you and say we should meet at Wine Bar X on Thursday…does 7 pm work for you?”
You can ask her out before the 4-8 day window BECAUSE IT’S HER IDEA.
Or, if she texts you, “Why haven’t you texted me yet mister?!”
You can say, “I did…”
Then she might say, “When?!”
Then you say: “Just now silly =)”
Then move the conversation forward: “How are you?” or “What are you up to?” etc.
Since she texted you and asked you about it, you can text her (back) even if you wouldn’t normally text her yet. Because. It’s. Her. Idea.
We want to be a challenge because it allows HER to eventually be more direct and cough up her interest in you.
Alright, let’s do a few more for the road:
When you’re having your first conversation with a woman and she says, “Are you flirting with me?”
You can say, “Why, do you want me to flirt with you?” 😉
When you start liking a woman, you can say, “Hey, stop making me like you. It’s not fair and I won’t stand for it.” <==This is a funny line and it implies that your interest in her is her idea (secret plan). Plus it pulls her in and pushes her away at the same time = brilliant and charming.
When you want to go for a kiss, you can say something like, “If you keep looking at me like that I might have to kiss you later…”
Then, her response will tell you if you have the green light or not…and, if you do, it will be at least partly HER IDEA to kiss you.
When you kiss a woman, pull back from the kiss FIRST. Then, if she pulls your head back in or looks at you with hungry eyes, it’s HER IDEA to kiss more.
In the beginning stages of dating, DO NOT ask a woman to meet up with you on a Friday, Saturday, or Holiday…
Until she brings it up: “Hey, why don’t we ever go out on the weekends? Do you have a girlfriend or something?”
THEN you can start taking her out on Fridays and Saturdays.
Otherwise, don’t until she’s your official girlfriend and you’re committed to each other.
Here’s one more: If you want a woman to be your girlfriend, don’t tell her how you feel about her or ask her to be your girlfriend (yet)…
Instead, just ask her out on a date, have as much fun as possible with her on your date, wait 4-8 days after the date and then ask her out again, go for a kiss by the end of the 2nd date, and then just keep taking her out on dates and having fun with her while waiting 4-8 days before you ask her out again in-between dates…
Until, after about 6-10 dates or so (this is usually how long this takes), SHE brings up the idea of being in a relationship with you:
“Hey, by the way, where is this thing between us headed?” <==She will find some way to bring up the idea of being your girlfriend; she probably won’t ask you to be her boyfriend directly.
Then, at that point, you can ask her to be your girlfriend if you want.
Because then it’s her idea…
And because once she brings it up, that means her interest in you is high enough to be in a committed relationship at that point.
Before that, you can never be sure.
So, wait until SHE brings it up, then ask her.
Never sooner.
Same thing goes if you want to marry her: Wait until she brings up the idea of being married to her, then plan your proposal. Don’t do it before that if you want to have a great relationship with a woman who is truly in love with you.
And if her interest is high enough, she will definitely at least hint that she wants to be your girlfriend or wife. For sure. And that’s the only way you can possibly know that it’s the right time.
So, wait until it’s her idea, then pull the trigger.
Okay, last one:
In my opinion you should say “I love you” to a woman VERY infrequently. Like, once or twice a year…(SHOW her you love her via your actions because that’s what really counts – give her everything the AAKH system recommends instead of words).
However, if you’ve been with a woman for a while, and she brings it up: “You know, I noticed that you don’t tell me you love me very often…”
Then you can say, “Would it make you feel better if I say it?”
And if she says, “Of course it would! Every woman wants to hear those magic words.”
Then you say, “Okay, ready? I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you…There, I said it. Is that better?” 🙂
And then you go back to SHOWING her you love her by treating her properly while keeping your mouth shut about it for the most part.
Remember: Lead things forward with a woman by taking slow measured steps forward while being a challenge AND THEN, when she makes a move toward you, reward her for showing her interest because once something is HER IDEA, you’re GOLDEN.
The Good Guy Guide shows you exactly how to do that if you’re not sure that you want a relationship right now and the Attract and Keep Her System shows you exactly how to do that if you want an awesome girlfriend or wife; so, grab your copy now if you haven’t already.
Until Next Time,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
