Imagine this for a second:
You meet a woman who’s absolutely perfect for you and manage to use all of the correct dating tactics with her that make a man successful with women…
So, for a minute, you’re able to attract her and raise her interest level.
Then, after a short while, she figures out that you’re not really the kind of guy you’re pretending to be and she loses her interest in you and takes off.
Ouch.
Or, alternatively, let’s say you keep doing everything right with her and end up in a relationship with her for a long time…
And then one day, a couple of years later, you suddenly realize that even though your girlfriend or wife is amazing…
…you’re still not happy.
These two scenarios highlight one simple, critical truth I’ve discovered over the years while studying all things attraction, dating, and relationships:
The highest form of “game…”
The absolute top-level, highest form of “game” is PERSONAL GROWTH.
Attracting a woman and building a relationship with her really takes place mostly (90%+) inside your own mind and self.
Now, of course, some of my clients already feel really good about themselves and have their fitness, career, and lifestyles on point…
And so the only thing those guys need to learn is the specific tactics, behaviors, and actions that allow a woman to fall and stay deeply in love with them.
They already do personal growth at the highest level on their own, so this concept doesn’t really apply to them because they already have it handled for the most part.
However, most of my clients are SEEKING something to make themselves happy or complete when they’re out there trying to attract women.
I know I was before I started learning about all this stuff and really working on myself.
And here’s the thing about that: If you’re out there seeking something instead of offering something, you’re not going to be nearly as successful and you’re ultimately not going to find what you’re looking for.
You won’t feel satisfied even if you do manage to attract a good woman.
So, what we want to do is to operate within a whole different PARADIGM.
And that paradigm shift happens when we understand that personal growth is actually the highest form of “game.”
Why Personal Growth is the Highest Form of “Game…”
Here are the 7 main reasons why working on yourself as a man for yourself first (personal growth) is actually the most effective, highest level of what you might call “game” or attracting women:
1. As we just talked about, personal growth allows you to operate from the “offering something” frame vs. the “trying to get something” frame when you’re dating a woman…
And this frame is much more attractive…
Especially to desirable women with great attitudes who also have their lives together.
And it’s the FOUNDATION of having a healthy, satisfying relationship with a woman:
If both of you are offering something to each other then two whole and complete beings can come together and create something new between them (healthy) instead of trying to complete each other (unhealthy).
2. Acting like you have attractive male qualities gets you results; actually developing those qualities within yourself gives you LASTING results. <==Read 3X…
If you act like a confident man who has self-control, a woman will become more interested in you…
If you’re actually a confident man who has self-control and is a challenge, you won’t have to spend energy acting like it.
You’ll do it automatically for the most part and then the other tactics you must use to show it will come easier for you.
Also, lifestyle changes are permanent while using tactics is temporary until they become part of your lifestyle.
So practicing both the effective tactics of dating until they become second nature for you AND working on the internal aspects of yourself that are attractive to women are what make you a highly-successful natural who can attract your ideal woman almost automatically…
…and then keep her around as long as you want to be with her.
3. You have more options when your value is higher…
The more you have yourself and your life together, the more options you’ll have in terms of the women you can date.
And, obviously, the more options you have the more likely it is that you’ll be able to attract your ideal woman.
For example, the in-shape version of you might get the attention of 4 out of 10 women while the not-so-in-shape version of you might only attract the attention of 1 out of 10 women.
And the version of yourself that moves around with relaxed, confident, attractive body language and dresses well might get the attention of 7 out of 10 women vs. 3 out of 10 women.
Etc.
This isn’t rocket science and you probably already get this…
The question is: Are you actually applying this truth?
If not, this is a perfect time to start.
4. When you feel whole and complete all on your own exactly as you are now and you validate yourself, you are NOT NEEDY because you’re not looking for completion or validation outside yourself.
And we all know that neediness is one of the strongest female repellents in the world.
And, by the way, here’s the truth:
You ARE whole and complete all on your own exactly as you are now (no woman can complete you no matter how awesome she is; you’re already a whole and complete being right now)…
And you’re not better or worse than anyone else out there yet you’re an awesome guy.
And if you don’t believe these things yet it’s time to find a way to understand and accept these truths because doing so improves your life, makes being around you better for everyone you come into contact with, and makes you much more attractive to all the right kinds of women.
5. If you’re already happy for the most part when you meet a woman, she can ADD to your happiness. If you’re looking for a woman to make you happy, she won’t be able to do it and things will fall apart at some point.
Listen, your job is to make yourself happy FIRST; then, invite a woman into your life to SHARE in your happiness.
Because no woman can make you happy no matter how amazing she is…
…Only YOU can do that.
Now, again, a good woman can ADD to your happiness and a bad woman can absolutely cause you misery and suffering…
However, if you base your foundational happiness on what a woman or anyone else is doing then you will never reach the state of satisfaction that you desire.
So find a way to make your life satisfying for yourself first…
Then, invite a woman who deserves to share that life with you into your already amazing life.
That’s true, attractive POWER when it comes to being in a relationship with a woman.
Not only does it make you less needy and allow you to OFFER a woman something vs. seeking it…
…It also allows you NOT to put up with so much BS from a woman.
In other words, if you’re already pretty happy with your life when you meet a woman you’re interested in, you’ll be able to stand up for yourself and/or walk away if she does things you don’t appreciate instead of tolerating it and settling for something that isn’t all that great for you.
And not only does this make you more ATTRACTIVE to that particular woman, it also makes you more CONFIDENT and raises your SELF-ESTEEM in general even if it doesn’t work out with her.
And those things make it much easier to attract the next woman who might actually treat you well vs. settling for the woman who doesn’t.
Which, of course, also makes you much happier long-term.
Make sense?
Excellent.
6. Where you’re headed is more important than where you are right now…
See, women are fortune-tellers by nature.
They don’t just look at where you are now, they also try to determine where you’re headed in life.
So, if a woman sees that you’re headed in a POSITIVE DIRECTION, she will become more interested in you.
And that means that if you’re constantly working to improve yourself, a woman will see that and decide that you’re headed in the right direction.
And that makes her more attracted to you than say a trust-fund guy with no plans for the future.
She might be attracted to that guy’s money, but she won’t be attracted to him.
Unless he’s also actively working on himself as well. <==This guy is unfairly attractive; luckily for us not many guys who have things handed to them are really that motivated to improve themselves. And that’s why these guys can never be sure if a woman is into him or his lifestyle/bank account.
7. When you create a life you love and you love yourself, you can set things up so women come to you vs. constantly chasing them.
And if the same exact woman meets you in a scenario where she’s coming to you vs. you going toward her, you’ll have a MUCH easier time attracting her.
So find a way to create your life the way YOU really want it to be, find a way to love and accept yourself completely…
…and then ask yourself: How can I set it up so that my ideal woman is coming to me?
How can I set it up that awesome women are meeting me on a regular basis?
For example, maybe you could create a wine and cheese meetup group and invite lots of awesome people to join you and ask them each to bring one friend when they come.
Etc.
Figure out a way to have the kinds of women you’re interested in come to you on a regular basis.
Because that’s the best, easiest way to attract your ideal woman.
Remember: The most successful men set themselves up for success in every way possible and do their best to make things as easy as they can for themselves; they don’t purposely make things difficult and then try to overcome those difficulties. <==This doesn’t make you awesome; it makes things harder for no reason and leads to failure.
So start setting yourself up for success instead of trying to run uphill all the time.
BONUS: If a woman likes you when she first meets you and you keep becoming a better version of yourself every day, why would she ever want to leave you?
Think about that for the rest of the day and then take action on your conclusions.
Until Next Time,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
